On Eagles' Wings

Parents' Day Out for Valentine's

2012-02-15T20:20:00.000+08:00

My parents are the cutest things, ever!

Really, they are! ;)

Yesterday, they went on a date for Valentine's Day. Well, they usually go for dinner, just the two of them. They have, ever since the bros and I were, well, old enough to stay at home alone, unsupervised. (Which is a very long time ago, I assure you.)

But I don't know why, just felt excited for this one. Maybe because I wasn't busy thinking about or getting ready for my own date for Valentine's. Aheh. (Baby, hurry up and come back from India, okay? T.T)

Since I spent so much time getting my mum to try on different outfits so she'd look nice for their date, I told my dad to go change out of his plain mustard t-shirt into something nicer, or into one that at least matched mum's pink suit. So he changed into a purple t-shirt. Well, okay la. Good boy! xD

My dad so formal la with his arms

behind his back. @.@

And I think my mum looked really pretty! Couldn't help feeling a little proud, since I kinda helped pick out her outfit. Kept fussing around her. And when my parents were about to leave, I insisted on taking photos!

Two thirds of her three-piece suit, a sheer off-white scarf

and long necklace. Not bad right? ;) And I paired them with

white butterfly heels (not pictured).

I think they're the cutest pair ever!

But then again, I might be biased ;)

Don't know why, felt like an over-excited parent when the kids are going for their first Prom Night, or something! =.=
(I even yelled out, "Have fun! Be good!" before they got into the car! haha~)

Anyway, I had discussed with my Dad and gave him some suggestions on nice, fancy places he could take Mum to, which are extremely limited in Seremban, seriously. I always don't really mind pricey places, as long as the food is good. But most of the places here? Pricey, but food not good. Food not too bad, but ambience is bad. You want someplace, if not romantic, at least cosy so you can have intimate/private conversations. Don't really have many options in Seremban. It's sad, really. :(

Well, the best place we could come up with was Kensington, in Era Walk, Terminal Two (now Mydin). Unfortunately, neither my dad nor I thought about calling the place and booking a table since, hello, it's Valentine's. Of course, when they arrived, it was booked solid! @.@ They improvised and headed over to what they thought was Station One (what?! Terrible choice =.=) but (thankfully) was actually a Thai restaurant. Bottom line is, food was not too bad, ambience was good. So, YAY! Still a win! :D

They came back home smiling from ear to ear and complaining about how stuffed they were from eating too much! So I guess the date went well! ;)

I really thank God for my parents. I am truly blessed. I mean, who could ask for a more cuter pair than these two, eh? xD

p.s: I (re-)watched not one, but two rom-coms to cheer myself up! The Ugly Truth and my all-time favourite How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days! Completely. Satisfied. :D

Feeling Crappy on Valentine's

2012-02-14T18:31:00.000+08:00

It's Valentine's Day today.

Woke up at 12.00pm for brunch. Watched a couple of episodes of Scrubs Season 2 (cos I just downloaded them last night. Yes, I'm slow :P). Watched Wanted the movie (Yes, I know I'm extremely slow! @.@). It was just alright for me, though. Hm, a bit too far-fetched, especially this "Loom of Fate". (A loom? Really? Why a loom? =.=)

Had a little fun though, prepping my mum for her date with my dad later tonight. ;) (I told my dad yesterday that he should so take mum out for dinner. He hadn't really made much plans before that. Haiyo, my dad so tak romantic wan. =.=)

Wanted her to wear something a little different, so I made her try on a velvet skirt I had that had a sexy big slit in the front. Unfortunately, she didn't have a top that would match. :( So we ended up with two pieces from a pretty-pink three-piece suit she hadn't worn in ages, and my sheer off-white scarf and long necklace. Tried to teach her to use some eyeliner, emphasis on tried haha~ xD But it's okay. My mum has always been a simple person. And besides, my dad might faint! ;)

I have to say, it's hard to go onto Facebook right now. Like they say, "Love is in the air!" Too many stuff come up that kinda affect me. I mean, I don't want it to get to me, but they somehow do. :( I see all the couples and their sweet messages to each other, the double-portrait profile pictures popping up everywhere, the photo albums featuring holiday trips for two, and lovely gifts!

So I get a little emo.

And when I express that, I get some heat from the single friends, or those who are in long-distance relationships (LDRs). Yes, I know that I at least have Someone, I get it. At least I have Someone who's coming back soon and I'll get to celebrate Valentine's with him, albeit a little belated.

And I do feel guilty too, for feeling sad cos, I mean, relationship-wise, many would say I'm lucky. Really lucky. I have a boyfriend, and I will get to celebrate V-Day with him.

But.

Allow me to miss him for a little while, can't I? :(

We haven't really talked for more than a week. He's called me several times, but they don't last very long. I feel like I haven't really "talked my fill", know what I mean? And he's in a foreign place, so I also worry about him sometimes. Like, if he's doing okay, if he's eating okay, if he's safe (apparently the bus drivers there are insane! They almost got into an accident the first day! @.@). I guess I'll only have some peace of mind when he's safely back home, you know?

So yes, I know that I'm not single, he's coming back so I at least get to celebrate Valentine's with my Special Someone.

But right now, he's not here, and I can't.

So, I'm sorry if I'm not supposed to feel sad. I just do.

So, here's what I'm gonna do to cheer myself up: I'm gonna paint my nails a pretty pink and see if I can't come up with a Valentine's Day design! Then I can show them off to my bf when I meet him ;)

I'll have my shower, dinner with my bro, paint my nails and then maybe watch a sappy rom-com movie after. Just cos I feel like it! :D

(Painting my nails can really cheer me up! :P)

So to everyone who feels crappy on V-Day (whether it's cos you're single, or in LDRs, or in a similar situation as me, temporarily) you can actually do something about it. Do something that makes you happy. Call up your best buddies. Make plans. They don't have to be massive. Just a simple chill out would do. If you can't be alone on V-Day, then don't.

Don't blame others for how you feel.
Remember: YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Have a good Valentine's! There's still time to make it great! ;)

Valentine's Day: Postponed

2012-02-13T18:42:00.002+08:00

I'd almost completely forgotten that Valentine's Day is tomorrow.

Nope, no plans tomorrow. The boyfie is only touching down at around midnight on the 15th. So yep, we won't be celebrating V-Day together on the 14th.

It's all his fault though, signing up for a trip to India from the 6th to the 16th. Guys don't get it do they? When he first told me the dates he would be gone, I literally froze. Unfortunately, he couldn't see me through the phone. I was thinking, What? And miss out on celebrating Valentine's together?

So I asked him, "6th to 16th? Up to 16th?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"Nothing."

Guys. =.=

Anyway, he promised me that when he got back he'd take me to go watch This Means War starring Reese Witherspoon, one of my favourite actresses, and 2 hotties, one of which is Chris Pine! And I warned him that he'd have to make it up to me, cos of the delay and all. How dare he abandon me on V-Day! >.< (And seeing all the lovey-dovey statuses on Facebook by my couple-friends are making me jelly--not helping! T.T)

However, the reason I'm not making such a big deal about this is because, truth be told, Valentine's Day is a little over-rated. Sometimes, even I get caught up in all the hype. Just like how I reacted initially, when my bf (indirectly) told me he won't be around on the 14th.

Valentine's Day on the 14th is just a date. Who knows how it all started (something about a guy called Valentine who married couples in secret because it was illegal or something; yeah, heard about it, read it somewhere) but the fact of the matter is that, just like every other festival or special occasion, it's become too commercialized. And sad to say, we girls get so sensitive when the guys don't "follow the rules". What rules, ladies?

If he doesn't get you flowers--he's a jerk. He doesn't take you out to dinner--he's a jerk. He doesn't buy you fluffy soft toys--he's a jerk. Why does he have to get you flowers, or take you to dinner, or buy fluffy soft toys on Valentine's Day? "Well, cos...cos it's the rules." Some girls don't even like flowers, but they expect them from their boyfriends! Nonsense! And hey, ever think what you're getting your boyfriend for Valentine's? Why don't you shake things up a bit? Break the "rules"? Why don't you take your boyfriend out to dinner, take him to watch a nice action movie (not a sappy rom-com one), or go watch a football match together (I heard the UEFA Champions League starts on the 14th). Why, you ask? Well, why not?

I don't have to celebrate Valentine's on the 14th, just cos everyone else is. I'll have the best Valentine's already, if I get to spend the day with the person I love, doing nothing. Or even watching a football match (as long as we get to cuddle. I like to cuddle). So I guess my Valentine's Day will be on the 16th, then. It's okay :) And I don't need flowers, or presents or dinner reservations. I guess, I don't really mind. (Maybe I'd mind if he didn't bring me back a souvenir from India. Now that'd be just rude! >.<)

If you are in a relationship right now, regardless of whether it's 3 months or 3 years, as cliche as it sounds, every day should be Valentine's Day. (Why do I keep doing this cliche thing? =.=) While, admittedly, all girls have a hopeless romantic side that needs to be exorcised, I think we'd prefer a guy who is sweet/romantic all the time, than a guy who is only sweet/romantic on Valentine's Day. That kinda guy ain't worth your time, honey. And to the guys, being sweet/romantic every other day takes effort, but once you do make an effort, the best thing is that it becomes effortless. And your girl will love you all the more for it :D

If you're not in a relationship, doesn't matter. Valentine's Day is about celebrating love, and it's not necessarily romantic love. Go hang out with your girlfriends, wear the colour purple as a sign of solidarity, have some drinks, enjoy yourself and bitch about all the useless guys you used to date, and you've got the whole night's activities covered. ;) And for the guys, hang out with your guy friends. You just might find a group of attractive single ladies wearing purple that you could introduce yourself to! ;)

Wishing everyone:

Have a great one, people! :D

Life is Meaningless!

2012-02-12T19:50:00.000+08:00

Sermon today was rather depressing. In fact, the whole book of Ecclesiastes that we're currently working on so far, is depressing.

Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless! (Ecc 1: 2b)

I wanted to share these three things that the author talked about in this very-depressing book of the Bible:

1) Pleasures are meaningless
Now ain't that true. Everything that is pleasurable in life--sex, laughter, fine food and drink--never lasts. I think that in this age of self-gratification and pleasure-seeking, it is even more painfully obvious. We either live a life of pleasure right now, or we're "saving up" so that eventually we can live a life of pleasure.

Either way, whatever pleasures that this world can offer is only temporary. If it weren't, we wouldn't want to keep doing something that feels good, or keep searching for something new for a taste of what once felt good.

2) Wisdom and folly are meaningless
Who is a wise person? According to the dictionary (online and off-), a person who is wise is someone who is learned or, more importantly, possesses the ability to make good judgments or discernment, based on a deep understanding or experience of life. (A mature, older person comes to mind.) But the author said:

The wise man has eyes in his head, while the fool walks in darkness; but I came to realize that the same fate overtakes them both. (Ecc 2: 14)

What fate, you ask? Why, death, of course.

It means that, doesn't matter if I'm a genius among a bunch of idiots, a saint among jerks, we're all gonna die anyway. It's not like my intelligence or my good works are gonna spare me from death. We're all gonna die. And because life is unfair, I may not even live as long as my enemy. >.<

And you know what's worse?

For the wise man, like the fool, will not be long remembered; in days to come both will be forgotten. (Ecc 2: 16a)

No matter how great our contribution to humanity, many many many years down the line, nobody will know, or care, who we were.

(Well, unless you are the one who finds the cure for cancer, I suppose.)

3) Toil is meaningless
After all our hard work, our slaving like dogs, everything that we have amassed for ourselves will be handed over to the one who comes after us when we die. We are all very clear of the fact that, no matter who you are, nobody gets to bring their possessions with them in the afterlife. I think what hurts most is that we don't have any real control over who gets it (unless you state it in your will I guess) or what they do with it when they do. Imagine, your millions or billions, your properties, everything you own, just given to someone who did nothing to earn them. And they squander it all on useless things! What's the point of working so hard then?

Like I said, depressing isn't it? If everything I mentioned above is meaningless, then...

...what's the point?

I believe God gave us this one gift: the ability to enjoy. The ability to enjoy a delicious meal, to enjoy a nice cold drink on a hot day, to enjoy a good laugh with good company, to work hard and take pride in our work, to fall in love, to help another.

Although what we can enjoy here on this earth is temporal and short-lived--who knows how long we really have?--appreciate the fact that we can enjoy everything in our lives, right here, right now.

I guess, as mortal human beings whose knowledge of this vast universe and world we live in is so limited, all we can do is cherish the present, and live for today.

(Ugh. I hate sounding so cliche! >.<)

Yes, it's cliche. We've heard it a million times before, we've seen millions of that familiar quote and saying. But do we practice it?

For me, it is still a challenge. One that I have to keep reminding myself. While it isn't wrong to spend an entire day on the net doing "nothing", I'm not sure I want to spend as many days as I seem to be spending doing just that. >.<

Living for today doesn't necessarily mean doing all the crazy stuff like reaching the North Pole, skydiving, bungee-jumping off a cliff... It just means allowing yourself to truly enjoy the simple things in life that we can enjoy, despite the busyness. I think a life like that may be enough for me :)

"To My Parents: I'm Not Your Damn Slave."

2012-02-11T02:19:00.001+08:00

I came across this video that not only shocked me, but, strangely, moved me (in a weird kind of way).

A fifteen-year-old girl, Hannah, posted on her Facebook wall about how crappy and how unfair her life is, because she has to do school and chores at home.

She shared this with the entire world on Facebook but blocked her parents from seeing it. Unfortunately for her, her dad, Tommy Jordan, runs an IT company for a living, and, well, let's just say her plan failed. @.@

I would like to transcribe (from the video) what Jordan read from his daughter's Facebook wall:

"To my parents,

I'm not your damn slave. It's not my responsibility to clean up your shit. We have a cleaning lady for a reason--her name is Linda, not Hannah. If you want coffee, get off your ass and make it yourself. If you want a garden, shovel the fertiliser yourself. Don't sit back on your ass and watch me do it. If you walk into the house and get mud all over the floor that I just cleaned, be my guest. But clean it up after you're done getting shit everywhere. I'm tired of picking up after you. You tell me at least once a day that I need to get a job. You could just pay me for all the shit that I do around the house. Every day when I get home from school, I have to do dishes, clean the counter tops, all the floors, make all the beds, do the laundry and get the trash. I'm not even going to mention all the work I do around your clinic. And if I don't do all that every day, I get grounded. Do you know how hard it is to keep up with chores and schoolwork? It's freaking crazy! I go to sleep at 10 every night because I'm too tired to stay up any longer to do anything else. I have to get up at 5 every morning to get ready for school. On the weekends I have to sleep with my door locked so my little brother won't come get me up at 6. This is all true. And I'm tired of this bullshit. Next time I have to pour a cup of coffee, I'm gonna flip shit. I have no idea how I have a life. I'm gonna hate to see the day when you get too old to wipe your ass and you call me asking for help. I won't be there.

(Signed)
Your pissed kid,
Hannah."

How do you react to this? As a father, how do you feel, reading this? What do you do?

Well, you fire 9 hollow points into your daughter's precious laptop, that's what. At least, that's what Tommy Jordan did.

Yes, you read right. You can read it again. No, you can watch the video yourself, if you don't believe me:

At 7:10, Jordan says, as he points a video camera at a notebook on the ground, "That right there is your laptop." He moves a gun into the frame. "This right here is my .45." He cocks the gun and shoots into the laptop. (Scared the hell outta me! @.@)

Why upload it to Youtube? Jordan claims he did it so he could post it on his daughter's Facebook wall for her, and all her friends "who thought it was cool" for how rebellious she was, to see what happens when you're ungrateful and disrespectful towards your parents. And so that all the other parents could get an idea of how "to put a boot up their own kid's ass".

There is a range of reactions for Jordan's response to his daughter's inappropriate rant (on the video comment section, as well as on the original Facebook post). Some think he was way over the top, that he should be "castrated so he can't have kids." Some applaud him for bringing down the cane on today's self-absorbed, disrespectful teens. Some say he was wrong for responding in anger, and with such an act of violence.

Honestly? I am on his side, y'all.

How many times have I, myself, come across kids, barely in their teens, acting like the world owes them and treating adults like they were their slaves? How many kids have I seen speak to their parents as if they were of equal age? It is appalling and terrifying at the same time. I would never have dared to speak that way to my parents, or any adult for that matter. And it is frightening to think what this child of ten years will be like when he is 16, or 18.

And with Facebook and all the social media, kids proudly display all that attitude for the world to see. And when they get "Likes" and virtual pats on the back, they think that it's cool, and that it makes them cool.

But it's not, people. It's not. I'm not saying that parents are always right and we have to bow to their tyranny. I'm not saying that we have no right to disagree or that we don't have the right to speak up against them.

What I'm saying is, if you have a problem, or an issue, something you're dissatisfied about, something you're not happy about, then talk to them. Say it to their face. Not to the millions of faceless people on Facebook. Sure, it may feel good for a while to get it all out there. Get all the admiration and support from your friends. But it doesn't solve the problem.

Okay, you may say that "She's still a kid," it's normal to rant and act out on Facebook. I say that, yes, it's normal to rant and act out as a kid, but not on Facebook. Am I the only one who sees that Facebook and the like have ruined our kids? How they deal with things and problems in their life? People my generation still had a taste of dealing with problems without Facebook. Some of these kids haven't. And I say it's ruining them.

Stop acting like your life is the shittiest because you have to do chores. It isn't. Learn to be grateful, especially for all the things your parents do for you that they don't have to, but do.

That's why we gotta learn. We gotta learn that that isn't the right way to deal with our problems. That speaking so disrespectfully of your parents on a public platform just ain't right. That there will be consequences. So if social media is the only way to get to her, then she didn't leave her daddy much choice, did she?

And I ask you, when you watched that video, did shooting the laptop seem like an act of violence on Jordan's part?

To me, it wasn't. The video wasn't done in a fit of anger, in an outburst of violence. When he read out that letter, I could hear disbelief maybe. But by the end of that video, I could only hear how disappointed, and how hurt Jordan was by what his daughter did. It literally moved me. To me, he is just a father who was very hurt by what his daughter did, and just wanted to teach her right. Not to humiliate, but for love. He's just doing what a father should do for his child. Not be her friend, in this case, but her father.

Was he too harsh? Maybe. But was it warranted? Definitely.

I respect you, Tommy Jordan. One day, Hannah is going to look back on this and thank you. And if you care this much about your daughter's wellbeing, I have a feeling she's gonna turn out all right. :)

Presenting: MOE, Malaysia

2012-02-09T16:01:00.001+08:00

I am seriously disappointed with the Ministry of Education, Malaysia.

Yes, you. MOE. Hello!

I hope you read this.

Well, allow me to explain why I am so utterly disappointed with them!

Let's just put aside the fact that ~~our silly Minister of Education Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin~~ they change their mind on national policies as if it were simply changing the channels on the TV. I'm referring to the learning of Maths and Science in the medium of English. First they're for it, then they're completely against it, citing a drop in achievement in those subjects in the latest public examinations as the reason they're reverting back to BM.

Well, it's either they are seriously naive in expecting that such a radical educational change across the nation's schools will yield instant results, or they're proving to the rakyat that they have no stand whatsoever and are willing to do whatever it takes to appease and buy voters for the upcoming elections.

Let's just forget about that, for a moment, shall we? On to the matter at hand.

Previously, STPM/SPM leavers who are interested in taking up teaching will first have to sit for the MEdSI (Malaysian Educators Selection Inventory) test consisting of 300 questions that have to be completed in 1 hour and 10 minutes. It is a personality test to determine the candidate's interest towards the teaching profession, integrity, emotional intelligence and teacher personality. (Taken from here) They would also have to go through an interview process before being accepted into a teaching course. Therefore, graduates from all local universities and teaching institutions across the country would be offered a posting by the government to wherever is deemed "suitable" or in need, without having to undergo interviews/tests again, since they had already done so before getting into the course in the first place.

However, the new "rule" is that, after graduating, fresh graduates will need to go for an interview before they get posted to a school by the government, failing which, no worries, you just need to go for it again the following year. (They offer no suggestions for what you do in the meantime >.<)

Sure, it shocked some of us, even terrified us. We have to go for an interview again? Fine, though. I see it from the point of the government. They just want to ensure that the graduates, after four years of studies in the education field, are still worthy and qualified to be teachers. A final round "Quality Control" of sorts. Right. Scary, but understandable.

Now, bearing in mind the important purpose of these interviews that the government is spending so much time and energy on, and is putting the fresh graduates through, you'd have an expectation of what kind of questions they might ask in the interview, wouldn't you?

I'm no policy-maker, nor expert in the education field. But I'd ask questions that test a teacher's knowledge of current events and issues in the country, education-related or otherwise. I'd test their critical and creative thinking skills. I'd test their ability to justify, to rationalize, given certain situations. I'd test their problem-solving skills, general coping skills. I'd check for their moral compass, sense of ethics. They will be, after all, in charge of our nation's easily-impressionable young people.

No.

According to a Sandra, a friend who had just gone for said interview, they ask questions like these:

1. Siapa Yang di-Pertuan yang ke-8? (Who was the eighth Yang di-Pertuan Agong?)
2. Apakah maksud sekolah? (What is the meaning of 'school'?)
3. Apakah peratus keturunan kadar jenayah tahun lepas? (What was the percentage of the drop in crime rate last year?)

I am completely appalled. These are the questions they come up with to test our future teachers?! This is what they see as so important to find out if our future teachers can answer, that they carry out one-hour interviews for thousands of graduates in the country?!

How on earth do these questions reflect my ability or potential to be a good teacher? Are you saying that, if I am fit to be a teacher, I should have memorized the ridiculously long names of all the YdPAs to have ever ascended the throne in our country's history? (And some of them have seriously long full names that includes their dearly departed father's)

And please, if I threw question #3 back at the interviewers, you're telling me that they'd be able to answer that question off-hand as well, without referring to any sources? Why the hell would I memorize statistics?

Question #2 would have been an interesting to find out what the candidate's own definition and role of a 'school' was. But looking at Question #1 and #3, even Question #2 needs an accurate, textbook answer containing all the keywords.

Shouldn't they be asking questions like, "What is your opinion on this issue?" "What do you think are some steps to solve this?" or, "If this happened, what would you do?" These questions would tell me about the candidate's real competence as a teacher, and not what he or she memorized the night before.

In my opinion, these interview questions are complete crap. This isn't a secondary school paper test (and even if it were, these questions aren't suitable for that either!); this is an interview, for goodness' sake.

And it's even saddening when real, good, competent and qualified teachers fail these stupid interviews, at no fault of theirs.

'Disappointing' is an understatement. MOE Malaysia, YOU FAIL.

Haywire: A Disappointment

2012-02-07T02:20:00.000+08:00

I only have one word to describe this movie:

SUCKY. (Yes, in caps.)

Seriously?

Yes, seriously. SUCKY. Save your money and DO NOT WATCH.

Since today was a public holiday, one of those precious days when my dad doesn't have to go to school, he must have been in a good mood. Said he wanted to take the whole family to go watch a movie, and he was interested in Haywire. Said he'd read a good review of it in the newspaper.

My brother and I, though, were skeptical. The newspaper had also given 50/50 a good review and we'd both agreed, after watching said movie, that newspaper reviews were not to be trusted. We just don't have the same movie tastes.

However, since dad was treating, and it was his day off, I thought, Fine, let's watch what he wants to watch, and checked out the showtimes with a weird feeling in my gut.

And my gut was right. >.<

The story line didn't even seem that promising. An ex-Special Forces Operative that got screwed over by her own and is now seeking revenge? Hm, how very original! Never seen that one before! =.= (Don't even feel like elaborating on the story line here >.<)

"Don't think of me as as a "woman". I can kick your a**!"

I guess the only interesting pre-movie fact is that the star, Gina Carano, who plays Mallory Kane, is a real-life professional MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) fighter. So you know she's got the brawns. There is no denying that she can throw real punches and wrestle a full-grown man to the ground. I bet she didn't need any stunt doubles! And to her favour, she ain't that bad looking either.

Playing it "rough"

I mean, after she literally fights to the death with an undercover British Intelligence agent posing as her hubby who had been given orders to "divorce" her, she just looked like she had a particularly rougher rough-and-tumble in bed, if you know what I mean. ;) I am always in awe of women who can kick a** in heels and tights. I don't know about you, but when I know of women who work out and stuff, I tend to imagine things like, how toned their bodies must be, how firm, how supple... In a most, um, UN-lesbian-ish manner possible, I assure you. You just get curious, you know? We all do that, don't you?

*clears throat* Anyway.

I had not bothered to find out who else were in the movie besides Channing Tatum. Of course, a hottie like that, you'd know. But as the movie progressed and I recognized more and more actors--Michael Fessbender (Magneto in X-Men: Original), Ewan McGregor (such a cutie pie!), Antonio Banderas (always love his sexy voice and accent!) and Michael Douglas--I thought to myself, Hey, maybe this movie won't be too bad! I mean, these are A-list actors man. This should be something.

But half an hour into the movie (I actually took out my phone to check), I was still clueless as to what was happening. And because you don't really know what's going on, it's quite difficult to feel any urgency as the story unfolds. Compare a movie where you know the star needs to, say, save the damsel because otherwise the world is going to end. So as you watch the movie, you root for the star because, well, you don't want the world to end. You know how important it is. That element was missing in Haywire.

I kept thinking, Okay, let's just see what happens next. Maybe I'll understand more. And scene after scene plays out, and you kinda figure out what's happening on your own... But the urgency just isn't there. Personal revenge just doesn't do it for me, not for this movie.

In stealth-mode for a self-executed operation that...failed.

Some of it didn't even make sense to me. In the earlier part of the movie, four of them, Mallory included, were given an assignment to extract a man from an apartment where he was guarded in Barcelona, and hand him safely over to the client. In scenes of their planning, one of the operatives had voiced doubts over their manpower. "We don't have enough men!" he said. Then, when the operation was carried out, they had one guy wait in the getaway car, one wait at the main door to the building as a lookout, and the remaining two ran in to get the man while the one who was guarding him was out to get coffee.

He went to get coffee.

That suggests that you didn't want the guard to know who took him. But the guard came back, shots were fired, but by then, the guy they wanted was already in the back seat. Mission accomplished. They could've just started the car up, zoomed off. Case done.

Okay, that does not look very attractive.

But, no. Mallory gave chase and caught up with the guard (long screen-time showing Mallory running and the guy running, then Mallory running, and then the guy running... you get it.) and then what does she do when she catches up to him? *anxious with anticipation* She beats him up. Then leaves him there. =.=

Why the hell would you do that? What does that achieve? When a colleague asked Mallory after the assignment why she gave chase when the mission was accomplished even without it, she says, "I don't like loose ends." WHAT loose ends??

If you didn't want the guy blabbing and telling who took their hostage-guy, then you should've killed him. Beating him up wouldn't have kept his mouth shut. And if you didn't mind him knowing who you guys were that took the hostage-guy in the first place, then why go through all the trouble to sneak-attack when the guy was out for coffee? There are four of you, for goodness' sake. Why wouldn't there be enough men to beat this single guy guarding him, and then grab the man and go?

Doesn't make sense, does it? Thought so too.

AND it had the stupidest ending. Antonio Banderas cursing "Shit!"

WHUTTTTTTT???????

It was such a relief when it ended. >.<

At the end of the day, the movie had a pretty dead plot, and pretty dead...everything, really. There was no real excitement, no real urgency. Just no connection whatsoever to the story, nor any of the characters, not even Mallory.

(Yes, I'm the Sky High guy)

I think I only felt the tiniest bit of connection to the poor 19-year-old boy she carjacked when she rammed the back of his one-week-old car into a deer (yes, she killed it--ANIMAL CRUELTY!! >.<) and crashed it (the car, not the deer) into a tree. The poor boy. :(

Big Boy Already!

2012-02-05T16:45:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was my brother's birthday. He is twenty this year, which will make me 24! (But my birthday was just over in November, so it still counts as just turning 23, right? Still young, still young.... *denial*)

Can't believe that my baby bro is twenty now! Big boy already! :D

We all remember the story my mum always tells us about when he was born. She says he was the quickest of the three of us to um, exit her womb, so to speak. (I know I tortured my mum for fourteen hours before I did! @.@) And he was also the fattest baby of the lot, weighing over 3kg :) My mum said that when he was born, in the early hours of the morning that day in 1992, firecrackers were heard, as if celebrating his birth!

(It was actually the first day of Chinese New Year then, so the firecrackers weren't really for him. But I guess some would consider it an auspicious sign, nonetheless. :P)

That's him (circled). Cute? :P

Know which one's me? (You have a 50/50 chance--

there are only 2 girls in this picture!)

He was skinny when he was younger. Almost too skinny. And I think he was the cutest of us all, what with his coconut hair style that he never needed to comb! He was naughty, oh yes. And I remember he used to have problems with his syllables. I actually have this vivid memory of me kneeling in front of him, trying to teach him new words. I told him to repeat after me: "Pocket," while pointing to the pockets on the pants he was wearing. "Pocket," I said. "Ko-pek," he said. "Chicken," I said. "Ki-chen," he'd say. Here I was, trying to be the good big sister and teach him some new words, and he's all messed up. Yes, you'd say he was adorable, but it was so frustrating for me! >.< haha~

As he grew up, we discovered he had a knack for games. Card games, video games. He could play any of these rather well. He was also very musically-inclined. Although both he and I took piano lessons, he seems to be able to play much better than I can! He has a very good ear for these kinds of things. He can listen to a contemporary song, and figure out the chords on the piano to play it himself. Sometimes, his playing sounds exactly like how it does on the track. Sometimes, he comes up with chords that sound better than the original. Here's a video of him playing Adele's "Turning Tables" that he objected to me putting up on Youtube, but which I insisted on. I thought he sounded really good, so why be ashamed about it? He also likes writing, like me. Although I have more practice with short stories. He has an interest in it too, though he doesn't write much nowadays. He complains about how dead his blog is! xD He does extremely well in his studies too, getting As in all his subjects in Form 6. And not just barely-As. Strong As, like in the 90+ region! I mean, who still gets marks like that in FORM SIX??!!!! (I know I didn't >.<)

He is currently on his longgggggg 9-month break after surviving the terrifying STPM. From the way he studied for it, it was like he died and came back to life just to sit for the exam--he worked so hard! We had to even tell him to take it easy a little, cos his eyes looked frighteningly lifeless when you talked to him when he was studying. @.@

I watch him struggle with what he plans to do in the future. Even after completing his STPM, he is still stumped with what he wants to do with his life. I know some people think, "What? Still haven't decided?" But I, for one, know how stressful and difficult this decision is. You're deciding the rest of your life, a decision you cannot take lightly. It is because a lot of young people take this lightly, or choose something that their parents want, their girlfriends/boyfriends want, that most of their friends are also doing, that many end up hating what they do. No one wants to feel regret.

Many think that he should pursue music as a career. Which isn't completely unreasonable--he's talented, and good at it. So why not? Yes, it's unconventional, it may not be as lucrative, but we've been blessed with parents who are all for "doing what you want" rather than "what society expects of you".

Yet, he is also good in Physics, and does well in it. Maybe a career in Engineering? But which one? Chemical? Mechanical? Electrical and Electronics? Tough life, tough work. Can he handle the pressure? Does he want to?

Why am I talking about my brother's dilemma?

I worry about him, I do. He's the baby in the family. Although he does get a lot of privileges I didn't get when I was his age (handphone, going out with friends unchaperoned etc.), I would say he has lived a pretty sheltered life. How is he going to cope without us, our family?

But I believe that he can do, and be, anything he wants to. Anything :D

I hope he'll be able to work out what he wants to do, soon. All I can do is pray for him. :)

Happy 20th birthday, Kit!

The Viral Factor

2012-02-04T02:06:00.000+08:00

The Viral Factor turned out to be......better than expected :)

I never really watch Chinese movies, what more in the cinema. But the boyfie is a fan of Jay Chou, and they were showing it with subtitles; so I figured, what the heck.

Bought tickets for the earliest show and sat down comfortably in the cinema hall with an arsenal of snacks and drinks. (The BF hadn't really had breakfast then, and sausages are kinda like breakfast food, aren't they?) I was so happily licking the mashed potato-gravy off the spoon that I completely forgot what movie I was watching for about a few seconds when the first of the pre-movie ads came on. =.=

Anyway, the beginning of the movie seemed intriguing, but somehow gave me a bad feeling--you know, the someone-is-going-to-die-by-the-end-of-this-movie feel. >.<

International Security Affairs agent Jon/Fei (Jay Chou) miraculously survives a shot to the head--one that would eventually leave him completely paralyzed after being betrayed by a fellow agent during a mission to safely escort the creator of a mutant strain of virus that terrorists are eager to get their hands on. He then discovers that he actually has an elder brother, one he has not seen since his mother took him and abandoned his father when he was three. From China, he travels to Malaysia in search of his gambler father, and brother, only to find out that his brother, Yeung (Nicholas Tse) is a criminal and a fugitive of the law. However, international criminals were behind his brother being framed, and so the two team up against them in order to save the world from this deadly virus. (Actually, Yeung seemed less interested in "saving the world" from the virus and more for saving his daughter, who had been kidnapped. But that's what the synopsis said, so.)

The movie had a lot of shooting and bombing and fighting, which I don't really mind. I mean, I'm not just a rom-com kinda girl; I can appreciate action movies too. It's just that, I felt that the shooting and bombing and fighting was a little too over-the-top. In certain cases, I did not think it was necessary, or even smart to be doing that. Not when very dangerous airborne virus samples in fragile glass tubes are involved, don't you think? That said, I did enjoy the adrenaline rush of watching cars flying all over the place and helicopter chases though. A lot of the time, it was like: Bomb explodes somewhere--WHOA! Few seconds later, car chase, shots fired non-stop--WHOA! Rather exciting! :D

Oh, if you didn't know it already, the film was shot in Malaysia, so it was also very interesting to be able to recognize certain locations where the movie was set. Throughout the movie, I was like, "Hey, that's KL Sentral!" and "Oh, Pavillion weiiiii~" And seeing Nicholas Tse infiltrating a supposedly highly-guarded building by climbing over those familiar green-wire fences was hilarious! I mean, what kinda defense is a flimsy green-wire fence? Malu la! And it was strange seeing Malay people in the movie. They seemed out of place, somehow. @.@

Jay Chou looked ruggishly handsome sporting a little bit more of facial hair, but his smooth almost gentle Mandarin-voice reminded me of his role in his self-directed and self-starring movie Secret. Too....."soft" to be an ISA agent. But he had some pretty awesome fight sequences :P

And I have always thought Nicholas Tse was good-looking, but here, he seemed older, acting as a father. Ah, still good-looking :) And I found out that he's an UGLY crier. There was a scene when he really broke down. I know it was supposed to be touching and all, but I was so distracted with the two trails of watery mucus that were hanging off the tip of his nose, wondering if they were gonna drip. He wiped if off once, and yet, another two trails of watery mucus reappeared! @.@

Storyline-wise, it was good. But nothing that we have never seen before, or did not expect. I did, however, like watching the secondary story line involving the family thrown right into the middle of all the chaos. I tend to be more interested in the feelings and emotions a movie can evoke through the relationship dimensions of the characters, than be impressed with the action sequences. Yeah, cars flying all over the place and helicopter chases are cool and all, but what I remember most is what I learned from the characters.

From The Viral Factor, despite its name, what I learned most was not about a potential threat of a biochemical terrorist attack, but that family is family. Though you may be on completely opposite paths, the strength of the family bond always pulls through. :)

Overall, for the thrill, I'd give it a 3/5. Not too bad :D

A Gigantic Leap

2012-02-02T22:48:00.001+08:00

My laptop is like a black hole where it sucks up all my time. In this holidays, every day, the first thing I do is turn my laptop on and go online. It's almost like an itch I can't scratch-satisfy.

I check my mail, go to Facebook, browse on 9gag, sneak a peek at on-sale items on online stores, and watch video after video after video on Youtube from all my favourite channels. And it's a time-consuming thing. You wake up, it's almost 12.00pm, the next thing you know, it's already dinner-time. =.=

Today, I spent the entire day watching Nigahiga videos on Youtube. (He's one of my favs, and his little ADHD antics are cute! I love watching his videos :P)

Yeah, I'm pretty amazed at myself too. @.@

But every now and then, I hear this annoying voice in my head telling me that I've actually got work to do. Plenty of stuff that I was supposed to do during the holidays before the new semester begins. (Which is soon! Darn it. >.<)

Okay, the first week flew by in a flash. Excusable, cos it was Chinese New Year, you know, hanging out all day with the cousins and relatives at Grandma's place. Of course. So I told myself, I'm giving myself a week off, tops. You know, for working so hard last semester on my thesis and all.

A week turned to ten days, and now it's been 2 weeks.

And I have yet to get any actual work done. Sure, I've opened up the relevant documents and fiddled around with this and that. But no real progressive work, as of yet. *sigh*

Here's my list of to-do stuff that I need to get done in the next couple of weeks remaining of my holidays (in order of priority):

Analyze results of data collected for research. Write at least a rough draft of chapters 4 and 5.
Prepare some lesson plans so I won't be going to school completely unprepared and empty-handed.
Get passport-sized photos of me with my face facing front for my convocation. (Sigh, the ones I do have are of me slightly facing right. I was trying to get my good angle. Bodoh. Now I have to make new ones because these can't be used for formal purposes. *facepalm*)
Do a makeover of my wardrobe to be more teacher-appropriate in preparation for my practicum end of this month.
Re-pack the work clothes I'll be bringing over to uni.
Use up my RM200 1Malaysia voucher for new novels and stationery.

These may not seem like much, but honestly, #1 and #2 are already a lot for my plate. Hope I get to strike off most of them as soon as possible. >.<

Looking at this list makes me feel a little stressed out again. Maybe writing them down and telling you about how guilty I feel may just be the motivation I need to get started. *crosses fingers*

I guess, this counts as progress, somewhat. :D Don't they say that the first step is always the hardest? Hooray for me! ;)

So to reward myself for this gigantic leap in progress, I'll go out on a movie date tomorrow!

Will let you know how the movie goes! xD

To Make You Smile

2012-02-01T18:15:00.003+08:00

It's been a while. ~~(Understatement of the year!)~~

I've had so many drafts saved, stories of this and that, things that have happened these past few months.

But what finally drove me to write here, right now, is this horrible feeling of helplessness.

Ever felt that way before?

If bad things, painful things happen to people we don't really know, we get sad for a moment, share the link on Facebook, and move on.

If bad things, painful things happen to people we don't really like, or hate, whether we admit it or not, whether we do it publicly or not--we rejoice! HAH! Padan muka you b*tch! Totally deserved it!

But what if bad things, painful things, happen to the people you love? A boyfriend/girlfriend, a sibling, a parent, a good friend.

And what if those bad things, painful things that happened to the people you love, are beyond your control?

There is nothing you can do to make things better. There is nothing you can really say to make them feel better.

I hate that feeling. I wish so badly that I can do something. I keep asking, "Are you okay?" until even I sound so damn annoying to myself. And their reassurances of their okay-ness do not really convince you. How can they really be okay when, if it were you in their shoes, you'd be bawling your eyes out? Be absolutely devastated, lost, and afraid.

I want to be there for them, be the listening ear, the bearing shoulder for the burdens. Yet, I don't want to remind them of the pain they are facing each time we meet either. I am torn between wanting to talk it out with them, and not wanting to see the sadness and pain in their eyes.

It's so much harder when they don't really want to talk about it. They'd rather act like nothing's changed, when in actual fact, their entire known reality has. I've always been a talk-it-out-it's-good-for-you kind of person. So it's extremely hard for me when they'd rather have me just be the one who accompanies them in a series of activities to drown out having the problem in the first place.

To me, it's just denial. It's sweeping a ticking bomb under the carpet. That's just not how I deal with things.

Then I remember, it's not me who has to deal with it, but them. I should respect how they choose to deal with it, shouldn't I?

It is so difficult to do just that, that I wish I can scream and cry and break down too. I imagine what they must be feeling and I wish I could take all that pain away, make them truly happy again. Not the, "Yeah, I'm fine," kind of okay, but a genuine, sincere, "I'm going to be okay."

It hurts me to see them hurt. Yet, what can I do? I'm terrified of saying or doing the wrong thing, and then losing their trust because of it. They may never tell me anything, anymore, and my hope of really being there for them will be well and truly gone.

My heart aches just as much as theirs, I'm sure. Oh, what can I do? What can I say to help you? I can only do as you ask me. Not talk about it, if you don't want to. Hug you when you need it. Sit in silence if you want to. And hope that that's enough to show you that I care, and that I will be with you through every step of this painful period of your life.

Let me help you. Please. Give me the chance to be everything to you. To make you smile once more. Because I cannot stand the thought of just standing by and doing nothing.

11/11/11: Overrated

2011-11-11T12:59:00.001+08:00

While I do agree that 11/11/11 is a pretty special date, it is also, I believe, overrated.

Yes, it happens only once every 100 years. Whoop-de-doo.

FB is plastered with "111111" or "11.11.11" or "11/11/11" statuses everywhere. And I imagined there was a flood of status updates at 11.11 am, maybe even at 11:11:11 am (by the kiasu fellas! xD)

Everyone keeps saying that we should make today memorable. Go out with friends, hang out with family, do "awesome" things that you wouldn't otherwise do. Drinking, partying, having fun! Wow. Sounds exciting.

If only we made as much effort to make each day in our life count as much as we do for this particular day.

We should make every single day memorable. Make every single day count. Spend time with family, friends, loved ones, every day. Not just on those days with repeated digits. Not just once every 100 years, eh?

Live your life to the fullest, EVERY DAY.

Then dates with repeated digits just won't be that big a deal :)

Perfection

2011-11-06T15:25:00.001+08:00

I used to think that I was a pretty good person.

I mean, I knew nobody is perfect. But I used to think that if anyone was close to perfect, I'd be it.

I didn't lie, or cheat. I was kind, helpful, generous. I was considerate, I followed the rules. I was a good student, had many friends, and was well-liked by all who knew me.

In church, we talk about sin, about our sinful nature as humans. I disliked that term. I hated thinking that I was sinful, or of sin. It was a dirty word, and I didn't want to associate myself with it. I was different, I thought. I was doing pretty well, so far. Doing pretty good, in fact.

Little did I know, then, that my biggest, largest flaw, was pride.

I continued to think that I was an almost-perfect person, an almost-perfect friend. Oh, what a wonderful person I am! What a wonderful testimony I must be as a Christian! I never said any of this out loud, of course. I mean, people would think I'm some egotistical self-praising obnoxious prick! I am only admitting this now, many many manyyyy years later, that these thoughts were there, somewhere, deep within me. Just because nobody else knew, I thought, again, that I was almost-perfect.

In retrospect, I believe that is why my spiritual life never really grew. I believe that is why I never really had a relationship with this God I call Father. It was because I believed I was almost-perfect, that I never really saw the need for Him. Why should I, when I was already this close to perfect? I was doing fine on my own. Did I really have to depend on Him?

Until, of course, this recent incident that I talked about in the previous post.

He showed me who I was, at that moment. I guess not so much who I was, but who I could be, or who I could turn into. It wasn't pretty. In fact, it was horrible, and ugly.

I was ashamed of myself. My almost-perfect illusion of myself was finally shattered, but honestly, what a liberating feeling it is, now! I can see myself maybe a little clearer now. I can see my pride. I can see my wrong.

It was painful, yes. And I broke down that evening, tasting regret and shame in my salty tears. But it was only then that I knew, I really knew, that I needed God. Who else could make me realize this about myself? Who else could touch me in this way? Who else could give me the strength to make things better? Who else could ultimately change me?

Today, I realized something else.

Sometimes, we are not the best testimonies for Christ when we live perfect lives, as perfect people who can do no wrong. That is not the goal of this life on earth. Yes, we strive to be like Jesus, but not in living the perfectly blameless life that He did when He was here. No, even God knows it's impossible.

On the contrary, I think we are the best testimonies when we fail, when we fall, and then we pick ourselves up with God-given strength and make things right with Him, and with whomever we have hurt. It is only then that people can see that as Christians, we struggle with the same things everyone else does--we're only human; but it is because we have Christ in us that we have the power to fight our sinful nature and rise above it.

I am sure you have heard the saying, "Courage is not the absence of fear. Rather, courage is facing your fears head-on despite it."

So let us have a new definition for "perfection", one that is attainable:

"Perfection is not the absence of faults. Rather, perfection is acknowledging your faults and making things right, despite them."

With God's hand holding mine, I believe I can achieve perfection. :)

Doing the Right Thing is Never Easy

2011-11-04T14:36:00.001+08:00

Doing the right thing is never easy.

We can tell ourselves lies, justify our actions with reasonable logic, ignore the prickly feeling of guilt.

But let's face it. That's the easy way out. The coward's way.

I doubt there is a single person in this world who is innocent of gossiping.

Gossiping? you ask. Pfft. That's nothing. Everybody does it. Nothing wrong about that.

Nothing wrong? Nothing wrong?

Gossiping is seldom just, "Hey, you know what so and so did?" It is almost always accompanied by, "Ya lor, so teruk la she. Such a b****!" Think back to all those nasty things you said about someone else. All the jokes you made at the person's expense.

Now imagine if someone said those things about you.

Like you said, nothing wrong, isn't it?

How do you look that person in the eye anymore? How do go day after day acting like everything's fine and dandy? How do you go about pretending you never said the nasty things you did about the person just last night at dinner? The good laugh you had over it?

If you could do all that without even blinking, you're a plain hypocrite. That's what you are. A big 'ol hypocrite who doesn't have the guts to say all the things you can say behind a person's back right to their face. Who has no balls to confront the person, like you should.

It is so easy to be angry. It is so easy to get upset over every little thing. And every little thing becomes a big thing. Every single thing the person does annoys you, upsets you, has wronged you.

And in response to that, it is so easy to badmouth someone else. It is so easy to let that anger fester within you, to let it grow and consume you. You would not even know it. And all this is so much easier when you find others who share your sentiments or strong feelings towards this same person.

You think, "He deserves it! He's a jerk! He's selfish!" Whatever.

But don't you realize what this gossiping and hatred is doing to you? Sapping you of your energy, your time, your soul. You become so engulfed in it, so obsessed by it, you don't even realize it! You talk of nothing else, think of nothing else, with anyone you're with!

I came across this phrase, describing badmouthing: character assassination. All that bitterness, wrath, anger and evil-speaking. You're basically murdering someone's character, someone's reputation.

How can you live with yourself? How can you go on knowing what you are doing, what you have been doing behind someone's back?

If you just deny it, you're a coward. If you ignore it, you're a coward. If you do nothing about it, you're also a coward.

Proverbs 15:1 says, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." And in verse 4, "The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit."

Whose spirit?

I believe it is both the person you speak evilly about, as well as your own.

It took me a concerned outside-friend, and a Bible verse to knock me to my senses, leave me reeling. Reeling in shock, in shameful realization, in repentance.

I begged God to forgive me, to give me the wisdom and the courage to make things right. God reminded me that he has asked us to love every one, most of all the ones who are not so easy to love. He reminded me that every word that comes out of our mouth should be "wholesome and uplifting". Not those that tear down, destroy and hurt.

You may think that gossiping, badmouthing is harmless. As long the person you are talking about never hears of it.

But trust me, it takes a toll. Not on the person you are talking about (if they never hear of it). But on you.

Do something about it. Talk to the person. Tell him how you really feel about the things he does, or has done. But not in a "I'm right and you're wrong" kind of way. And not with the expectation that the other person will change overnight, cos that it impossible. Do it in order to clear the air between you, to be honest in love, to let go.

Only then can you move on, with less a burden on your shoulders, a lighter heart.

Doing the right thing is never easy.

But let's face it. That's the easy way out. The coward's way.

It takes courage to confront someone. More than you may possess. But all things are possible with God. Ask Him, and He will bless you. He will give you the courage you need to do what is right.

And knowing that you are doing what is right should provide you with enough courage to make that first step.

Always, do it out of love. Not necessarily for the person. But do it out of love for our Father in heaven. For He has loved us, even as we are so unlovable.

To the person I have wronged, I ask for forgiveness. I am glad we talked, I am glad we have put everything out there. I hope that we can move past this, and that it helps us both grow, as people.

I have made things right. Have you?

Monkey Business

2011-09-22T01:05:00.001+08:00

It finally happened.

They're back!

I'd heard the horror stories, but I had yet to face one myself, and had hoped I never will. Pfft. How naive! >.<

Had my first close encounter with the infamous KIY monkeys yesterday.

I was getting ready to take my bath, so I was happily humming some Choir Convo song tunes, wrapped in my towel while I went to get my basket of toiletries. I had heard some taps on my window, but had dismissed it as the wind, or maybe a tree branch.

When I turned around, there it was. Its tiny hands slipping through the window panes and attempting to push it open.

I gasped and was stunned motionless for the few minutes while it tried to open my window, then moved to the next panel of window panes and tried to open those, and the next.

I could see its shadow as it moved from one panel of windows to the other, just outside, moving along the balcony sill. Also, the other two dark shadows sitting quietly there, most probably his friends watching him attempting to get at food.

Creepy!! @.@

My heart was thumping so loudly, I could hear it in my ears!

And who knew, my second encounter with a monkey immediately followed my first in a span of a few minutes!

When I'd gone to the bathroom to wash off my make-up and turned around to head to the shower stalls, there another one was, staring at me. I gave another loud gasp and completely freaked out the other girl who was in the bathroom with me.

Thankfully, it was more interested in rummaging in the rubbish bin behind the shared-bathrooms door than in biting all my fingers off. After it was done, it just sauntered off, down the stairs.

You may think it's silly, to be afraid of monkeys. But I have this fear, irrational or not, of these monkeys just going wild and crazy and attacking me, and biting my finger off or something. (Maybe I shouldn't have watched Rise of the Planet of the Apes. =.=)

Plus, I have heard from fellow college mates, of how daring, how intelligent these beings can be. Some of them even figured out how to open windows that have been closed tight. They have organization too. My friend once saw a monkey in her room, grabbing her packet of biscuits and then handing it to its friend waiting at the window! (Teamwork? @.@)

They'd grab directly from your hands if they catch you holding plastic bags they assume contain food. So it is a bad idea to walk around KIY holding a plastic bag, even if they do not contain food. These KIY monkeys just might attack you, bite you to death, steal your plastic bag and then discard it in 20 seconds!

Just kidding.

Suffice to say, I am terrified of monkeys. So much so, I am literally left paralyzed and unable to do anything when I see one. I wish I could even scream, but I can't >.<

I can't believe I am in the college that is FAMOUS for monkeys. Hope I survive (with all my fingers intact)! @.@

All For Nothing?

2011-09-19T12:43:00.001+08:00

Choir practices have officially started.

Last Saturday was our first full-day practice. From 9am-10pm.
Yes, you read right. 9AM to 10PM. >.<

Although it sucks, I have to reluctantly concede that it is absolutely necessary. :(

This coming weekend is the Convocation Ceremony. Four days from Saturday up to Tuesday. We have to learn up to 12 songs for our repertoire, excluding the four compulsory songs consisting of the national anthem, the Negeri Sembilan state anthem (because our Chancellor is from Negeri Sembilan) and two varsity songs.

We only have but a week (literally a WEEK! I am not exaggerating!) to learn all the songs!

I thank God for the new juniors this year. We had quite the "harvest" this time round--19 of them! :D Hopefully they will turn out to be faithful members of Choir who will stick with us because they love the Choir :)

Meeting them and getting to know them has been an interesting and enjoyable experience. We have quite a number of guys this year (yay!) and quite equal number of girls for Alto and Soprano vocal parts. We even have an Indonesian in our midst! :D My gorsh, some of these juniors are just adorable! Which, unfortunately, only makes me feel much, muuuuuuch older T.T (The biggest age gap between me and the juniors is SEVEN years! Gosh, aren't I ancient? >.<)

It has been tiring, singing and teaching the new songs for hours on end. My voice even changed to a sexier, huskier kind after one full-day's practice! (It's not exactly a good thing =.=)

But at the same time, I can't help smiling when I hear us all singing together in parts--my favourite part of being in the Choir. The harmonies and the individual melodies of each vocal part complement each other so well that we sound so beautiful together! Choir constantly reminds me that we are, and always will be, a team effort.

It makes me work harder when I teach all the individual vocal parts: Soprano, Alto, Tenor and Bass. Cos I know that it's important to make sure they get them right. Otherwise, the entire harmony will crumble. And the end result--beautiful singing--is all worth it!

But it's hard to be all happy and optimistic. I'm not the bright-eyed 20-year-old I was back then. And having been part of the Committee board who run the Choir and have to deal with Pusat Kebudayaan (Student Cultural Center) I find that the frustration and injustice of the way things are done sometimes unbearably overwhelming.

Imagine this: Someone from the Pusat Kebudayaan gives you a new score of a song you used to sing differently. They say, "Follow this new score." It terrifies you because, although the song is familiar, the new arrangement and the vocal parts are completely new. Not to mention impossibly difficult to learn! For the entire day you struggle to teach, and to learn, the new arrangement because, well, that's what you were told to do. When you meet up with the band to practice this song together, you realize, with horror, that they are playing it in a completely different key; four keys HIGHER, which makes all the other vocal parts unsing-able (no such word)--unless you are a chipmunk who had just inhaled some helium. When you question them about the change of key, they say, "Oh, the score for the band in the new arrangement is not so nice, so we decided to use another arrangement instead which is in this (higher) key." When your jaw drops open from shock, they tell you, "It's okay, you can sing in unison, it's not a problem."

HELLO. THAT IS NOT THE PROBLEM. THE PROBLEM IS, WE HAVE JUST SPENT AN ENTIRE DAY WORKING OUR A**ES OFF TRYING TO LEARN THE NEW ARRANGEMENT FOLLOWING THE SCORE THAT YOU GAVE US. SURE, WE CAN ALL SING IN UNISON IN THIS RIDICULOUSLY HIGH KEY THAT MAKES US SOUND LIKE CHIPMUNKS, WHATEVER. BUT THE WHOLE PROBLEM IS THAT YOU HAVE JUST RENDERED OUR ENTIRE DAY'S WORK OF SLOGGING, COMPLETELY, AND UTTERLY, MOOT.

*takes a deep breath*

I am trying, very hard, to take this all in my stride. What can we do but smile and nod and accept, as we always do? I am angered and frustrated most when I see the exhausted faces of our new members. They worked hard to learn that song, and now it's all for nothing. >.< Would they give up? Would they think, "Choir sucks. I'm leaving."?

Practice resumed the following day. And I was mildly surprised to see all of them, the new ones, back here again. Working hard. Trying their best to learn, and to sing well. And they tell us that they enjoy the songs, that they are having a great time. *touched* :')

And it makes me wanna work even harder as well. :D

Listening to them, and all of us sing, I have forgotten how much I love the Choir, how much I've missed it during the four long months of holidays. The last two days were a reminder that, no matter how much I grumble and whine and yell curses about the hassle and problems that come with helping out in the Choir, no matter how tired and exhausted, even if I lose my voice singing so hard, deep down, I love Choir. Choir is my passion.

And I'm not gonna let anything, or anyone take that away from me.

I'm Finally At Home

2011-09-16T02:53:00.000+08:00

It's official.

I'm a Highlander for this final semester in UKM!

I'd gone to the KBH office this morning, and was promptly told that whatever available rooms they had left were for Masters students only. Not undergrad students like me. I must have sounded absolutely pitiful when I said Oh, I am actually an Education student and was hoping to get a place here because it was nearer to my Faculty. I still received a prompt, and rather firm, NO.

"Well, can I still send in the letter?" (I had written an official letter to request the Principal of KBH to grant me this favour)

"Well, sure. But it won't do a thing for you."

T.T

So well, so ends the story of my attempts to appeal to move to KBH. >.<

My dad told me to try again next week. But frankly, I don't like to beg. And I doubt they'd want me harassing them every other day till they give in out of exasperation. It just doesn't feel right, neither does it feel good.

So I'm gonna let this go. I know that I'll eventually get used to being a Highlander. (That's what residents of KIY call themselves--because they live on a "highland" =.=) (I suddenly realize that's currently what I am, so I should say, ourselves instead of 'themselves' >.<)

Because, at the very back of my mind, I still had hopes of shifting out sometime this week to KBH, I never really truly settled into my room in KIY. Here's some proof:

Most of my bags were pretty much still unpacked. I didn't want to have to unpack and then, in a few days when I had to shift out to KBH, pack them all again and then unpack them yet again in the new room! I thought I'd save myself all that trouble; keep all my stuff in the bags they came in until I was sure where I'd be staying at.

So you can see all the bags, just dumped and stuffed everywhere. And even my luggage of clothes was just left at the bottom of the cupboard.

I'd been living out of my suitcase(s) these past few days, and it has been such a pain! >.< I'd have to rummage through my luggage to get a towel, or a t-shirt, zip and unzip a bag to get my toiletries. I didn't even get to have my awesome breakfast-of-champions Koko Krunch and milk because I didn't want to get my mug out and then have to air-dry and repack it, after. =.=

Well, now that it's decided I'll be staying:

I finally unpacked my books and arranged them neatly with a bookend :)

I got out my stash of foodstuff: cartons of full cream milk, Jacob's crackers, Koko Krunch, Maggi mee, and cutlery.

I've even put a little calendar on my previously-empty board. I guess I should consider decorating it, or at least covering up the hideous staples with coloured paper, now that this board is truly, truly, mine.

I spent a good whole hour finally unpacking everything. And here's what you can see inside my cupboard now:

My lovely, very-portable cloth rack finally hung up and filled. An empty base of the cupboard. Every day-clothes finally taken out of the bulky luggage bag and arranged neatly.

And then I stuffed all the bags at the topmost rack in my cupboard. :)

And if I haven't convinced you enough that I'm really, truly all settled in:

My teddy bear floor mat--which definitely says, "Welcome Home."

If that doesn't convince you, I don't know what will! @.@

Kolej Ibrahim Yaakob, looks like I'm here to stay! :D

HIGHLANDERS! Whoohoooooo~ :P

My Quaint Lil' 'Ol Room

2011-09-14T15:06:00.000+08:00

I am writing from my new second home in Kolej Ibrahim Yaakob (KIY). For those who do not know, I was formerly in Kolej Tun Hussein Onn (KTHO)--a college that I speak of with both fond nostalgia and dislike.

I must sound like an ungrateful wretch. On the contrary, I am truly grateful to KTHO for housing me for the past 3 years. Although the admin department leaves much to be desired (much much muuuuuuuch to be desired =.=) the college itself is in one of the most strategic places in UKM, in my opinion. :)

For me, it was within walking distance of anywhere I would want/need to go. Pusanika? Ten minutes' walk. Library? Ten minutes. Faculty? 15 minutes (if I had semangat to huff and puff up that dreadful hill >.<) Language School? Ten minutes. Dewan Gemilang? Ten minutes. DECTAR? Three minutes!

However, the people "higher up" were rather fond of applying the military style they were used to in the PALAPES, and of threatening techniques. Do this, or we'll kick you out. Don't do this? Then I guess you won't be coming back to this college next semester. If you don't want to do this, then it's fine. There are many others who are fighting to get a place in this college.

So much so that I just about had had enough of their threats. For the final time, when they threatened me, I fought back. It felt good, for once!

But it also made me nervous about my placement in the college for this semester. >.<

I'd wanted to apply for Kolej Burhanuddin Helmi (KBH) then, due to the bad feeling I had that, somehow, because of that incident with the KTHO Felo, my chances of getting a place in that college were now slim. Rather than allowing them to kick me out, I thought I'd save them the trouble and opt out, myself. >.<

Besides, a course mate was in KBH, and the college was situated much nearer to my Faculty and the Language School than KTHO--a mere FIVE minutes' walk! :D

So I was accepted into KBH, a dream come true, and I lived happily ever after! TheEnd.

Obviously that wasn't what happened, was it? =.=

Nope. The online accommodation application results came out and I was sent to.......KIY.

My immediate thought was CONS: Further from the Faculty. Situated on a steeeeeeeep hill. Infested with monkeys. Completely unfamiliar. No close friends there. :(

PROS:

Hm, PROS:

Came up with a blank. >.<

Anyhoo, beggars can't be choosers. And I am thankful, very thankful, that though they rejected my application to stay in KBH, they did not leave me in the lurch with no hostel to stay in at all. I could have been left without a college completely, unable to go back to KTHO and without a college to go to, and would have had to search for accommodations elsewhere, off-campus. Which would really have been a nightmare. T.T

You know the saying, "You don't realize what you have till it's gone"? Well, that rings truer for me now than it ever has before. To be completely honest, I miss my old single room in KTHO. It was spacious, the bathrooms were clean, the cupboard was GORGEOUS, the bed was comfy.

Here, in KIY, everything seems small and cramped. My single room is much smaller than what I have been used to, the desk lamp is casting shadows on my work, the cupboard is built into the wall (and in very bad condition too >.<), the bed is pretty low (and doesn't have lovely LARGE drawers under it to store my foodstuff and cutlery like I had in KTHO). The bathrooms aren't cleaned often, the sink is clogged, the washing-clothes basins have no water, and one of the toilets doesn't lock, or flush. >.< (I'm still waiting for them to take action of my official complaint.)

My low bed. Mattress was disgusting. It was horribly lumpy and stained.

You can't see it now, of course >.<

My long wall-to-wall study desk, which isn't too bad. But I wish it had drawers so I can put all my "Drawer Stuff"--you know, like stapler, puncher, extra pens, medication, pack of cards etc. *shrugs*

There was a hole in the concrete floor, and the previous occupant stub-proofed it with tape. Brilliant! :D

See? One of the cupboard doors looks like it's naked! @.@

The dark grey-brown you're seeing at the sides and back of the cupboard is the wall. That's what I mean by built into the wall.

Again, I sound like an ungrateful wretch. I know, I know. I should be grateful, thankful. I knowwwwwww. >.<

But you know what they say, about how once you've tasted caviar, you can't settle for catfish? (Okay fineeeee. I modified the quote from Gossip Girl. =.=)

Yeah, it feels like that now. I can't help comparing, and finding dear 'ol KIY lacking. :(

I still haven't lost hope on KBH yet. That's what appeals are for, right? If I get it, I get it. If I don't, well, I'll still be okay. It's only for one more semester anyway.

Till then, my KIY room is, to me, well, rather quaint. :P
(You're welcome to come visit me,if you're in the area, anytime! :D)

The Hour of Dread

2011-09-11T01:22:00.001+08:00

The dreaded hour is finally here.

It's really here.

I closed my eyes really tight, counted to ten, and opened them again, and surprisingly, it didn't changed a thing. :(

Knowing in advance that it is coming, doesn't necessarily mean your heart is completely prepared for it, does it?

Tomorrow, after four months of pure, unadulterated bliss, I will be checking into my residential college to begin my first semester of my final year as an undergraduate student, which, coincidentally, is also my final semester in UKM.

Sounds scarier, now that I've put it into words. @.@

Oops. What's this doing here? xD

Holidays, as it seems, is never enough. Be it four days, or four freakin' MONTHS, they're never enough!

At the beginning of the holidays, after my final exams last semester, it felt like I was looking up at the bottom of a rainbow, seeing the glorious colours, so delicate and fine, stretch out before me endlessly. I couldn't see the end of the rainbow, but who wants, or ever cares, to?

Four months just flew by! Hasn't it, really? Certainly, there are some regrets. Little things I wanted to get done, but ~~did not have the time to~~ did not actually get around to doing. One of those things was to write more stories, to really spend more time on this other passion of mine. Somehow, I ended up being more passionate about Facebook and Words with Friends, and horror of horrors, The Sims Social. =.=

With the cozzies, in Subang Jaya :)

*incomplete*

I did not travel much, other than a few trips up to Subang Jaya, and the areas around KL. I wish I had, though. To Melaka, or maybe Singapore. Or even picnicking at 'ol PD beach.

However, I have little other regrets besides those few things. I think I managed to spend my holidays rather well this time round :)

I will miss all the ladies at Praise Dance. They were always very friendly, and made me feel welcome, even when I was the youngest among them all. On some days when I was not able to come for the morning exercise, they'd ask my mum where I was. And when they did see me next, they would tease me, saying, "Hey, how come you didn't come that day? Ponteng ar?" Or even, "You cannot not come la! Who am I gonna look to when I'm unsure of my steps?"

I felt so....needed :D

I will miss line dancing, that's for sure. It was fun, and very enjoyable learning new steps and dances every week. It was a new experience, and something I hope to continue in the future :)

I will also miss all the ladies at English Class. I admit, in the initial stages, I was terrified of teaching English to these Cantonese and Mandarin-speaking older women. I was a Banana, who had a very veryyyyyy minimal repertoire of Chinese words with which to communicate with these women.

But for me, in this case, familiarity breeds confidence. Week after week, meeting and interacting with them alleviated my fears. And the earnestness to tackle the English language of some of these ladies inspired and motivated me. They were eager to learn, so that made me eager to teach. Even if I had to resort to hand gestures and bahasa rojak. :D

Honestly, these 'ol ladies would put some of our current young students in schools today to SHAME. Even these women, uneducated as some of them are, can realize, and recognize, the importance of the English language. Why are our young people wasting the opportunity to learn and better themselves? >.<

I will still be teaching piano to the little ones on the weekends, so that's okay. Although I will miss seeing the Friday night kids, and some of the Wednesday night ones. Only some. Definitely not this one, that's for certain. >.<

Awesome times with my girls :)

And even more awesome times with my baby! :D

(He's gonna kill me if he finds out this photo of him is up here (too--

cos it's already up on FB :P)! @.@)

I had awesome meet-ups with friends, and spent more time with my boyfriend this holidays than I ever have before! :D And because of the extra two months we had when they pushed back the term time, I had the wonderful opportunity to celebrate his birthday with him and his friends, and surprise him too! :) For that, I am grateful.

All in all, it was a meaningful four months. Looking back, I should be able to go back to UKM happy and contented.

Yet. :(

While I look forward to meeting all my course mates again, my heart is heavy knowing that some of my friends will not be returning with me. :( And the thought of thesis-writing and assignment deadlines and work again is just downright depressing. T.T

Still, I am making a promise to myself to make this last few months in UKM count. I'm gonna work hard, not procrastinate as much, study hard, make time for my friends (cos life is not all about study, is it? :D) and do the best that I can! :)

UKM, I welcome you with open arms, and an open heart, now.

Here's to an AWESOME final semester! :D

Feeling Blue?

2011-09-02T17:13:00.001+08:00

Actually, I'm feeling anything but blue! :)

Again, I was trying to make a ~~lame~~ pun. Cos in this fashion post, I'll be blue! Very blue indeed! :D

(Drats. I've been staring at the pictures for some time now, and I cannot, for the life of me, remember where I was headed off to in this outfit that particular time! @.@ My goodness. Am I really getting that old? *sobs* I was most likely going to church, but I cannot be absolutely certain. Sigh. I have the memory of a goldfish. And a baby one at that! T.T)

Doesn't matter where I was off to then, but here are the pictures you've all been waiting for! :P (See, do I know you guys well, or what? xD)

Overall look :)

Green contact lenses this time.

A stereo-designed large top by X-Girls!

I love this striking bright blue!

Doesn't it make you feel bright and gay (the happy one)? :D

Like I said, you'd feel anything but blue! :)

This was given to me by my generous benefactor, Sandra!

My new funky black-and-white flip-flops by Apple (that's what's written there *shrugs*) bought at the nearby Family Store for--you won't believe it--RM6.90!

Cheap or what? :D I liked the design, that's why :)

(Although, Sam did make a good point by saying that my feet would hide most of whatever nice design was on the bottom anyway. >.< What a bubble-burster! =.=)

Worn with my favourite pair of grey jeans from ROMP at Sunway Pyramid :)

Heart these so much! :D

Accessorizing with my most favourite item now--floral bangles!

I think it goes with just about anything! :D

Closer look at my Floral Bangle Set (7-in-1) that I bought at RM15.90 at 20% discount!

And I'm absolutely lovin' them! :D

(My bf told me he wouldn't buy these even if they were sold at RM5. :(

Guys just don't get it, do they? Should I just give up hope? *sigh*)

Just to add a little femininity, I put a little white flower pin in my hair!

My mother wore this when she was younger, and now it's mine. I see it like a sort of "family heirloom" (although it isn't particularly valuable) that I'm gonna pass down to my daughter in the future! I cherish this a lot :)

A pair of blue-studded ear rings that my boyfriend bought for me a long time ago, and which he complains I never wear. So, there you go, dear. Don't they look nice? :D

Right-side profile :)

And my (better) left-side profile :D

And because I couldn't get my brother to take a full-length shot of me, and not having found a personal photographer who suits my tastes despite the overwhelming number of applications *ahem*, I had to take these two shots on my own. Which isn't all that easy.
:(

There you go. You've just had the almost imponderable joy of viewing some pretty awesome photos, if I say so myself! xD

Hope they took your blues away! :D

We're 54 Today

2011-08-31T17:48:00.001+08:00

My country is 54 years old today.

Another year and she'll join the "senior" category. :P In human years, our country is no baby. She's old enough to be a grandma, if you know what I mean.

Yet, somehow I have a feeling that we're reverting back to our chaotic adolescent years. We are still quarreling and squabbling amongst ourselves over petty things. We're still making mountains out of molehills. (It's like we're still undergoing puberty. @.@)

There is a lot of dissatisfaction, disenchantment, disagreements, disillusionment. Prejudice, biasness, injustice, discrimination.

Until today, I still get long wordy emails giving me some alternate history lesson that I never learned in school about the origins of our country. Emails that claim a certain race are not really the bumiputeras (natives) of this country. Emails that urge you to forward to others, to let them know the injustice that prevails because this fact is overlooked.

Know what I do with emails like those?

I delete them. Immediately.

Why? Because frankly, pardon my language, I don't give a damn.

I don't care who came here first. The fact of the matter is, history has shown us that ALL races played their part, their role, in securing independence for our country. No effort is insignificant. We worked hard for it. This country is ours. She belongs to us.

And don't you think that 54 years down the line, "We were here first!" is completely irrelevant?

And might I say that we have become overly-sensitive little brats? We find fault in every single little thing. We want to find fault in every single little thing. Witty and fun commercials that meant nothing are turned into sinister brainwashing attempts by certain parties. Festive satirical advertisements are really subtle ways of insult. We read into things that are just not there. Reminds me of little kids who kick up a fuss when they're bored.

We want to play "It was his fault!" "He started it!" games. We retaliate. We fight fire with fire. You confiscate, we burn. You say this, I do that.

Like I said, little brats! >.<

We're supposed to be reaching seniority in our years. Why are we declining, instead of progressing?

Let's be adults here. Not little bratty kids. Let's listen more, rather than shout opinions. Let's be proactive and do the right things through the right channels, not sulk and grumble in a corner. Let's accept one another and be gentle, not accuse and discriminate. Let's play nice, not dirty.

We are 54 years old this year, goodness. Let's start acting our "age"!

She deserves it.

Happy birthday, Malaysia. We love you. :)

This Old Man

2011-08-29T16:37:00.000+08:00

I grew up with nursery rhymes.

I don't remember actually learning them in kindergarten, but give me one line, and I'll be able to tell you the rest. Well, most of it anyway.

I guess Tadika Kiddyhouse did a good job in teaching kids their nursery rhymes. (No, no, no understanding needed. Just rote memorization! Good job!) :D

I can remember every word to "Hey Diddle Diddle". If you ask me nicely I can sing it for you :)

Hey Diddle diddle

The cat and the fiddle

The cow jumped over the moon

The little dog laughed to see such sport

And the dish ran away with the spoon.

One question though: Have you ever wondered what these children's nursery rhymes mean?

We've always accepted the unacceptable in nursery rhymes. How a cat learned to play a fiddle, how a cow can jump over the moon, how a dog can laugh, and how dishes can elope with spoons.

But one nursery rhyme that's kinda got me stumped is "This Old Man."

This old man, he played one;

He played knick-knack on my thumb.

With a knick-knack, paddy whack,

Give a dog a bone;

This old man came rolling home.

First of all, after reading the first verse, I wonder, who is this old man? My grandfather? An elderly neighbour? Those crazy uncles you see sometimes wandering around? And how do you play 'knick knack'? The Cambridge Dictionary defines 'knick knack' as "a small decorative object, especially in the house" which doesn't exactly explain how you can play it. It's certainly not a musical instrument, that's for sure =.=

After looking up online, an old Irish tradition seems to imply that to 'play knick knack' is to play the spoons by sorta tapping them together. (Okay, I learned something new!)

So let's assume this old man could play knick knack. Why would he play knick knack on someone else's thumb? And even weirder, would you just let some old man you don't know play knick knack on your thumb?

And then, all of a sudden, you give some random dog a bone (where were you keeping it all this while?), and surprise of all surprises, the old man goes rolling home. Which I suppose is only possible if his house is located at the bottom of a hill.

This old man, he played two;

He played knick-knack on my shoe.

With a knick-knack, paddy whack,

Give a dog a bone;

This old man came rolling home.

Does anybody else wonder what a 'paddy whack' is? @.@ Well, I do. So again, I looked online, and apparently, paddy whack is an English expression that usually refers to someone who is drunk. (Again, I learned something new! :D) Ohhhh. I guess that's how he can "roll home". xD

This old man, he played three;

He played knick-knack on my knee.

With a knick-knack, paddy whack,

Give a dog a bone;

This old man came rolling home.

Now this random old man I don't know is playing knick knack on my knee? It sounds painful to me! =.= (And won't you be getting that knee-jerk reflex? You could possibly kick the old man right in the face. Or right in the "special place"--depending on whether the old man is squatting/standing when he plays knick knack on your knee.)

This old man, he played four;

He played knick-knack on my door.

With a knick-knack, paddy whack,

Give a dog a bone;

This old man came rolling home.

This old man, he played five;

He played knick-knack on my hive.

With a knick-knack, paddy whack,

Give a dog a bone;

This old man came rolling home.

What's my 'hive'? Is he talking about a bee's hive that I own? If it's a bee hive, that is a reaaalllyyyy stupid move. If you don't understand why it's a stupid move to play knick knack on a bee's hive, than you're worse than that old man playing knick knack on a bee's hive.

Or he could be referring to hives. A person can get hives. They look like this:

Why would someone play knick knack on that? That's pretty cruel and insensitive, don't you think? >.<

This old man, he played six;

He played knick-knack on my sticks.

With a knick-knack, paddy whack,

Give a dog a bone;

This old man came rolling home.

"On my sticks"? Maybe I have a corrupted mind but that sounds a little like a double entendre to me! xD

If they were the normal twigs, I still can't see why the old man would wanna play knick knack on that? =.=

This old man, he played seven;

He played knick-knack up in heaven.

With a knick-knack, paddy whack,

Give a dog a bone;

This old man came rolling home.

"Up in heaven"? Did the strange old man DIE now??? @.@

This old man, he played eight;

He played knick-knack on my gate.

With a knick-knack, paddy whack,

Give a dog a bone;

This old man came rolling home.

Nope. He did not die. He just came all the way back from heaven so he can play on your gate now.

This old man, he played nine;

He played knick-knack on my spine.

With a knick-knack, paddy whack,

Give a dog a bone;

This old man came rolling home.

Again, why would someone do that? This is a very sad, deranged old man indeed. Maybe he has Alzheimer's?

This old man, he played ten;

He played knick-knack once again.

With a knick-knack, paddy whack,

Give a dog a bone;

This old man came rolling home.

AGAIN?! Oh no, that's quite enough lar Uncle, thankyouverymuch.

I guess it has to be true--the old man is pissed drunk. Or a total whacko. Those are the only reasons to explain why he does all these bizarre things to some random person (me). Let's hope the next time this paddy whack comes along, he'll play knick knack far farrrrr away from me and roll his merry ~~ass~~ way home.

(Of course it is possible this nursery rhyme was not meant to make sense. Only to teach little kids rhymes like two-shoe, three-knee, door-four etc. In which case, don't try to make sense of this at all. And try to erase those creepy images of random old men playing knick knack on your spine.)

Green: Soothing to the Eyes

2011-08-26T14:47:00.000+08:00

Wouldn't you agree?

I always thought green is such a soothing colour. It certainly relaxes the eyes, and we don't frown as much. Well, do you ever frown when you look at trees or lush greenery?

Of course, not.

I have even heard that by looking more at greens, you can reduce your eye power (for those inflicted with short-sightedness and are cursed to wear glasses for the rest of their lives! T.T) How true that is, I do not know. If it isn't, blame the person who told me that. (I can't remember who that was, at the moment =.=)

Anyway, although the intro does not sound like it, this is another fashion post! :D

And the intro is sorta related. Cos I'll be wearing green, see? Which is soothing to the eyes, geddit? Ahhhhhh. :P

Another outfit I wore to church the other day, that won me a few praises, I must say. Someone even told me this dress made me look slimmer and taller! *faints from overwhelming joy*

Anyway, enjoy the pics :)

This is a close-up. With my matching green contact lenses. :)

This dress has the sweetest V-neck collar that doesn't

go too deep for me to feel too self-conscious. :P

Worn with a pair of beaded ear rings that I'd bought as a set with a necklace for RM 10.90 many years ago. I don't wear the necklace--too extravagant to go with anything. But I thought the ear rings are sweet with this dress :)

Ta-daaa!

The full dress that goes down to my mid-thigh.

It also has an adjustable tie-wrap that goes at the back to give more shape :)

From F.O.S. in Sunway Pyramid.

It cost me about RM50 which, at the time, I thought was so expensive. @.@

My most favourite feature on this dress?

The pockets! :D

Don't they make this dress that much cooler? :P

(Excuse my flip-flops. I had actually worn this dress to church with white wedges. But while waiting for my brother to finally agree to take this photo for me, I had taken them off and slipped my comfort shoes on. Aheh. Sorry about that. Imagine white wedges on for the complete look, kay? :P)

How do you like the dress? :)

Now, weren't those photos just soothing to the eyes in more ways than one? xD

Saying Goodbye (For Now)

2011-08-22T23:59:00.000+08:00

In less than an hour, my cousin sister is going to board a plane bound for Tianjin, China, where she will make a transit to Beijing. In a few days, she would be starting her Degree studies on Biotechnology in Beijing University, China.

Soon Yi :)

(Yes, unflattering picture. But I'm cheeky like that!)

I hold my Phor Phor's hand as we navigate around trolleys of luggage and running toddlers. I tiptoe to look over the heads of busy-looking people who look like they're headed somewhere on important business, while others doze off on the plastic chairs, their mountain of bags beside them.

Finally, I spot my aunt waving at us. "We're here! We're here!"

My cousin brother asks me, "Where's Soon Yi?"

I have no idea. I didn't see her. Couldn't see her. But she had to be around here somewhere.

A large group of boisterous young people fall aside to reveal my cousin sister, smack in the middle, laughing. She is wearing a white sweater, and new Sketchers shoes that look comfortable as hell. Her red-purple highlights are more distinctive under these bright airport lights.

As I watch her with her close friends, for the first time, I realize one sad thing: I am not as close to my cousin sister as I'd like to think.

Distance had always been a factor. We seldom met up except for the CNY and Christmas holidays--twice a year. Even though she is four years younger than I am, she had always carried herself with such confidence--in the way she spoke, the things she knew, the clothes she wore with brands I'd never even heard of.

Growing up, we bonded as cousins. As a group. But never as cousin sisters. We never were the type to hang out and gossip, go shopping together, do mani-pedis for each other, discuss fashion and boys.

For a country bumpkin like me, she was the classy, sophisticated city girl. I suspect she never knew this, but I sometimes felt inferior to her. That possibly only widened the distance between us.

It didn't help that my aunt (her mother) was extremely proud of her and boasted of all the things she could do/have done every time they were back. I felt so small. And I always feared that Phor Phor loved her more as a granddaughter than me. (Sometimes, I still struggle with that. T.T)

And then. Things changed. I grew older. I stopped feeling so competitive. I stopped comparing the two of us in my mind. I stopped having to tell myself I was not "losing to her". That one night, when we bunked together alone during a family trip in Malacca, we chatted through the night, till the wee hours of the morning. I discovered that I had a sister that I never knew I had. :)

I look at her now, and I see her smiling, laughing and joking with all her friends. And I am jealous. I am jealous that I never took the time to get to know her as well as they seemed to.

Then I am saddened by the fact that, now that I realize this, she is leaving to another country far away and it seems like it is too late. When she comes back, who will she be then?

However, I am also excited for her. So excited. She is going to learn so much, experience so much, gain so much. Even though it is utterly terrifying to be all on your own so far from home in a new environment, I do not worry too much. If I know her at all, she is going to do just fine. :D

I hand her the note I had (hastily) written this morning to accompany the little gift I had given her. "To read on the plane," I tell her. She thanks me and stuffs it into her leather backpack.

As she says her final goodbyes to her friends, I think about the note I gave her. I told her to remember that she had a family here who would continuously love her, think of her, and pray for her well being and success. That when times were tough, or lonely, she can always take comfort in that.

I had hoped that the note would be able to convey what I doubt I had been able to do on my own--that despite our not-so-closeness, I cared for her like an older cousin sister would.

I felt the tears as she hugged everyone and waved at the other side of the line. Phor Phor was already in tears, and so were her mum and kuku. But I knew this separation was only temporal. There is always Chinese New Year holidays next year to look forward to :)

Bon voyage, Soon Yi. Stay safe. Miss you already. xoxo

It's That Time Again--My Nails!

2011-08-20T00:08:00.000+08:00

I'm such a horrible person.

I want to blog, but I don't know what to blog about (cos I'm a boring person, that's what >.<) although I do have a few outfits lined up for future fashion posts but unfortunately, I am not really in the mood for it at the moment, so just to blog for the sake of blogging, I'm gonna talk about my nails.

Yes, it's that time again--nails.

Don't pretend you don't love it! xD

Anyway, I've forgotten when I got these done already, it's been so long ago. These are all backlogs of photos of my then-current nail polish designs that thoroughly thrilled me at the time!

Dark shimmery purple from Elianto with bright red stripes from K-Le (Korean brand).

Can you see them? :)

(I hate that my 2.0 mp camera doesn't take close-ups of my nails very well. The colours look more awesome in real-life, I swear! It just doesn't do them justice T.T)

By far, this is my most favourite design! They look really pretty after I was done. I was darn proud of myself for thinking of this design and colour combination all by meself. :P I think they look really good, don't you think? :D

Sadly though, the dark shimmery purple, which is my favourite bottle in my entire nail lacquer collection, has finally gone and died on me. T.T I've had it for too long; it doesn't spread well anymore. Too thick and viscous. :(

(fyi, old nail polish--the non-branded ones lar--get thick and sticky after some time. I dunno why that happens. Contamination? Too much exposure to air? So I never really get to use an entire bottle of nail polish. I'll be lucky to even get to three quarters of it. @.@)

RIP, dark shimmery purple. You've brought me much joy! *sniffs*

Opaque bright pink with pretty flower nail stickers!

Both, also from Elianto :)

I love the flower nail stickers, I do! So dainty and pretty, kan? :D

Sam helped me pick this colour out when we stopped by Elianto at Jusco, S2. Personally, I think it looks better in the bottle than it does on my nails :(

I think it's a super sweet colour but because of its brightness, it somehow makes my hands look darker. What do you think? >.< (I hope this is not one of those, "Ohhh, now that you mention it..." moments! ARGH.)

Well, since it's a new bottle, I gotta keep using it anyway. Cannot waste. =.=

Simple maroon from K-Le :)

This is a new one I bought at Family Store when I was passing by. I just couldn't help myself! Just wanted a new colour, although I'd only just bought the opaque bright pink one recently. Aheh. :P

I considered putting the flower nail stickers too, but I wanted to see how this colour looked like on my nails, bare.

I think it looks all right. I'm not jumping up and down over it as much as I thought I might. It does, somehow though, make my hands seem fairer. :D But a little too dull for my taste. (Buying-compulsions, whyyyyyyyy? T.T) At least the bright pink was striking!

So there, the last three colours of my nails. :)

(What a total waste of your time, eh? @.@ haha)

At the moment, my nails are naked. Which my brother says is the best colour of all. =.= Boys. What do they know. Pfft.

p.s: You can read more of my nail posts here! You know you want to! :P

Check Me Out!

2011-08-15T12:54:00.000+08:00

Another fashion post ahead! :D

Wore this outfit to church one Sunday. Was feeling cheerful and bersemangat so I wore something that looked like I had put a little more effort into it than usual :P

Ta-daaaa!

Overall look :)

Purple contact lenses yo!

My friend has told me that this pair makes me look scary, but somehow, I love them!

Don't they look absolutely gorgeous? :D

(Am I supposed to state where I got them too? =.=)

They're Korean, called Fairy Violet; got them from a friend of mine.

Cost me just RM 38 to last me a year! :)

Oh, and those chilli red diamond-shaped ear rings were from one of the

shops selling them at "3 for RM10" at Sg. Wang.

(I love them when my outfit is plain and I just need some bright colour! :D)

Checked blouse: brandless. A gift from dear Sandra again! :)

Indigo-blue mini skirt: Fourskin. Also given to me by Sandra :P

View from the top!

(Not like it's a very long way down, you know,

being vertically-challenged and all =.=)

Full-length shot (sorta)! :D

(I couldn't get my brother to take one photo for me, so had to be "self-service" lor T.T)

One more SS-shot in my room! :)

How's that for a second attempt at a fashion post? Any better than the first one? :P

Anyway, I just realized that if I want to do more fashion posts like these, I've gotta have my own personal photographer who is willing to take photos of me as many times as necessary until I'm satisfied with how I look, especially with the full-length ones. I can't do those on my own--my arms aren't long enough! T.T

And one's sibling is not always willing to do that, I regret to say. At least, not without complaining and grumbling that I'm being a vain pot and torturing his eyes! :(

So, feel free to apply to be my full-time personal photographer. You'll be paid with AWESOME self-shot photos of yours truly such as these:

Settle down, everybody! Everyone has an equal shot at being my personal photographer :) Email me your resume! xD

p.s: The title of this post is actually a pun cos I'm wearing a "checked" blouse, see? That's why, "Check" Me Out! Geddit, geddit? :D #lamepun

My Younger Sister

2011-08-12T23:25:00.000+08:00

I had one of the best days of my life yesterday.

No, I didn't ride a shuttle to the moon. No, I didn't win the lottery and swim in wads of cash, and then went on a maniacal shopping spree and came back with loads of clothes and shoes and bags and make-up. (Sigh.)

But I spent the day with my boyfriend and his little four-year-old sister, and boy, was it the best! :D

Though I was excited to watch "The Rise of the Planet of the Apes" with Sam that day, what I was really looking forward to was painting Mira's nails and taking her out to City Park in Seremban 2.

When I met little Mira in church several weeks ago, it was actually my first time seeing her in 2 years. She was only 2 then, and rather shy around strangers. And before that, the last time I had seen her was when she was practically still a baby. I had carried her, talked baby-talk with her, but how could I blame her for not remembering? And it broke my heart a little, it did. :(

But that day in church, when she took an interest in the colour of my nail polish at the time and exclaimed that they matched the colour of her outfit (purple!) I knew, I just knew, I had found a soul mate. :D

All I've wanted to do, since then, was paint her nails, give her hair accessories and stuffed key chains, read her stories, and play with her pretty hair. :)

She is the most adorable little girl! And she has this cute warbly way of speaking that always makes me smile inside.

I wondered what it is about her that makes me want to dote on her, spoil her, make her laugh.

Sure, she is my boyfriend's sister, and it would certainly be in my best interests for her to like me. But I didn't want to do all these things to make her like me as her eldest brother's girlfriend. No, I felt like I finally had the little sister I'd never known, till now, that I wished I had. :)

Yesterday, I painted her nails for her. She chose the bright red that I had in my (relatively) small collection if nail lacquer. I helped her tie up her messy ponytail that had come loose. She loved the hair band I was wearing, so I gave it to her. She even gave me a high-five after I teased her brother. In the car, she sang Bruno Mars's "Lazy Song" in the most innocently adorable way imaginable! (It was her current favourite song :P)

She giggled and laughed as she played on the swing, the slides. She skipped and ran, and urged us to hurry up and catch her, and complained when we were too slow. She pointed excitedly at all the colourful fish in the lake and very seriously said that they sounded like fish. (LOL! :P) She exclaimed even more excitedly when we spotted the few tortoises that came to feed.

And each time her brother took out the camera, she would stop and pose, and I was re-convinced that I had really found a soul mate in her! xD

But the best moment of all, was when her brother offered his hand to walk her across the road to the park, and she took mine instead.

She chose to hold my hand. :)

Now that's an Awwwww moment if there ever was one! :D

In many ways, I love feeling like a big sister to this little girl. It fills me with joy :) But I have to say, taking Mira to the park with my boyfriend yesterday felt like we were taking our own daughter! xD

And seeing Sam with her, many times now, is heart-warming. He is great with her, and I can see that he completely adores her. Without intending to, I have a mental picture of him with our kids some day and, lucky me, it is a beautiful one. :)

Spending time with Mira has drawn us closer together, I dare say. And I can't wait to see Mira again. Sometimes I wonder if I miss Mira more than my boyfriend! xD

I haven't read stories to her, I haven't taught her to play the piano. But I am so thankful that I have plenty of time to do all that. I am so glad that I will be able to be close to her and see her grow :)

When I told Sam that I felt she was like my own younger sister, he told me, "She is your younger sister."

Why, yes. Yes, she is. :D

Card Games Are Our Thing

2011-08-08T19:03:00.001+08:00

My cousins and I seldom meet besides the annual CNY and Christmas celebrations. They'd usually come down to Seremban, our hometown, and we'd just lepak in our grandma's spacious bungalow. We'd watch funny videos on Youtube, Korean dramas, or play card games.

Card games are our thing. :)

Anyway, recently, we'd met up for a thanksgiving dinner given by one of our aunties for her daughters' first-prize win at the Petrosains National Science Show Competition. If you want, you can watch it here, here and here. And yes, Princess Jasmine and the Genie are my two younger cousin sisters.

(Unfortunately, I've never been very close with these two younger cousins of mine. Possibly, because of the age gap. Their 13 and 15. Gorsh, I'm almost ten years older than both of them! @.@)

Anyway, it was at this short "reunion" of sorts that I realized that my other two cousins might, and will be leaving the country soon to further their studies. Both of them had just finished their A Levels, with the results being released this 11th of August.

My cousin sister will be leaving for Beijing, China on the 22nd of August to do Biotechnology. My cousin brother, depending on his results, might possibly be in the UK to do Mechanical Engineering by September.

Suddenly, I am hit with this...sadness. They're leaving? Going out of the country? So far away? :(

Which is what inspired me to organize a cousins trip to Subang Jaya and KL! :D

My brothers and I would stay over at our two cousin brothers' home in USJ 11, and meet up with my cousin sister in KL the next day for shopping and just plain hanging :)

Needless to say, we had lots of fun, and we came home with blisters on our feet (okay, only I did =.=) but super happy! :D

Let's let the pictures do some talking now! (Unfortunately though, I just realized I didn't have any pictures taken with my cousin sis! How sad! We were too tired, and it was too dark by then to have some decent pictures taken with my stupid 2.0 mp camera. Sigh, rugi T.T)

Kit's THIRD time taking the KTM.

Waiting to take the train from Seremban to KL Sentral, and then to Subang Jaya. A two-hour journey, mostly standing. Didn't get to grab a seat until the last few stations

before SJ T.T

Bazaar Ramadhan! Yummy-looking murtabak :D

And delicious BBQ chicken wings! :D

The famous chilli pan mee for dinner :)

Served with very 'qing' sayur manis soup

Very happy to have durians for dessert! :P

Durians galore! :P

Look at that golden yellow! *drools*

The (incomplete set of) boys at Chatime for bubble tea drinks!

(Wei insisted that we go. He's obsessed! @.@)

Ernie was MIA cos he had "things to do" >.<

Me and each of the boys :)

The boys with each other.

While waiting for order #9179.

Our boys are pretty good-looking, aren't they? :D

Finally, our drinks are here!

L-R: Japanese Matcha Ice Latte, Roasted Milk Tea, Passion Fruit QQ with

rainbow jelly (cos they told us they were out of pearls T.T)

With our drinks! Wei's pose is the best! Even though he's just a "student" learning to pose with drinks. Good first attempt, Wei! Am so proud! *sniff*

Ernie looks like he's running from the paparazzi! xD

This time, the complete set of boys :D

The new model for Chanel! Not bad, eh? :P

While sitting to rest from aching and injured (blasted blister! >.<) feet,

camwhore using the hugeeeeee mirror with your cousin! :P

Dinner at the "Restaurant Under the Tree" thanks to Soon Yi's parents!

Delicious and nutritious Coconut Chicken Herbal Soup :D

Kept steaming hot throughout dinner thanks to the husk, methinks :)

Wild boar curry was spicy and thick. Yums :D

Pig Trotters. Succulent and fatty--the best! :P

With Ernie, before leaving for home sweet home :)

All in all, we had a wonderful weekend hanging out together :)

Though shopping is fun, the best moments are sometimes just spending time in each other's company, making jokes that only we'd understand.

As my two younger cousins leave soon, one for China, the other, maybe, for the UK, this weekend was a great reminder of all the times we have had, that I cherish, and will cherish even more because of the new distance between us.

I will cherish the time we spent playing card games: Blocking supposed "miners" who were really saboteurs, crashing each others' 1000 points or presenting each other with a -200 black card. Or fighting to thieve the +3 cards! Getting stuck with the Brown (which only Ernie likes =.=) or yelling and screaming as we compete to see who would "Nerg" first! :D

I will cherish the time that I poked, and smacked, or tickled you. Actually, mostly all I did was just put a finger 5 mm from your neck and say, "Tickle tickleeeeee~", but somehow, that would still do the trick. I will cherish the time we talked till the early morning in A' Famosa, our first real heart-to-heart talk about boys, and life and in general :)

To my dear cousins, as you embark on a new road in life and begin a new chapter, may you always be safe no matter where you go. May you do well in everything that you do, and may your hard work always pay off. And most importantly, may you always remember that you have family and people who love you right here, in Seremban :)

May remembering all those moments of fun and laughter we had together bring you joy, and somehow give you strength to keep going when times are tough, or lonely.

Take care Soon Yi, and Wei Wei :D I heart you two! Will definitely miss you! <3

Fashion Post Attempt #1

2011-08-05T16:43:00.000+08:00

I have to say, I have been quite inspired by fashion bloggers like Tey Cindy. :)

When you've been following their blog, and reading them for quite some time, their style of blogging tends to rub off on you a little bit :P

She's inspiring, isn't she? :D

Sometimes I think blog posts on fashion are brilliant! They definitely inspire others (fashion-wise, of course. Not to go out and save the whales! :P).

And personally though, sometimes I put in so much effort into my outfit, so much effort into looking good, it seems such waste that they are only seen by my brothers.

My brothers who, when I ask them about my outfit (very enthusiastically) "Nice or not, nice or not?", respond with, "Okay la."

What a way to deflate a girl's balloon, if you know what I mean. >.<

But I know that you guys can appreciate it waayyyyy better than my brothers! I'm sure! So have a look at what I wore for when my dad went to preach at the Taman Asean Church in Malacca (must make good impression):

Peach-coloured sleeveless turtle neck with a

pure white knee-length skirt :)

Brought along my new bag from Momoe (given to me by a

very very generous friend, Sandra :D <3)

I matched it with my favourite jingly-jangly ear rings :)

And a longgggggg beaded necklace

And of course my all-time favourite white gladiator wedges!

These are the only pair of shoes that are so comfortable I could wear them walking around Jusco for hours without blisters! Plus, they could go with almost anything--be it skirt or jeans or shorts :D Oh, and not forgetting the fact that they also make me THREE INCHES taller! whoohooooo~

(Can't you see why they're my favs? :D)

Ahah! I also had on matching red+purple nail polish,

and my Diva 5-in-1 flower rings :)

Final SS (syok sendiri) shot! :D

Okay, this fashion post is an EPIC FAIL.

I can't tell any of the brands for any of the clothes I'm wearing! @.@

Well, except for the Momoe bag (cos the logo is very conspicuous :P) and those Diva 5-in-1 flower rings. Other than that, I don't know where any of them are from =.=

How to compare to Tey Cindy? @.@ haha~ (I doubt I'll ever be able to do something like that. But this was fun to try :P)

Anyway, here's to a first attempt at a fashion post! Maybe next time I'll pay more attention to the brands :P

Hope you enjoyed all the SS photos anyway :D

We F***ing Did It?

2011-08-03T02:25:00.000+08:00

I'm not too sure how big of a deal it is in Singapore, but I know that if a class valedictorian ended her speech during a graduation ceremony with "We fucking did it!", it would create a hugeeeeee brouhaha in Malaysia.

If you do not know what I am talking about, watch this first:

Honest to God. She ended her speech, as valedictorian of the graduating class of 2011 from the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information of the Nanyang Technological University, Singapore, in front of the entire "board of trustees, distinguished guests, faculty", and parents of her fellow graduates (including her own, of course) with "We fucking did it!"

Did you cringe?

I did. >.<

I've never been able to really accept bad language. I used to reprimand some of my other classmates when I heard them using "bad words" in school (I know, what a goody-two-shoe! @.@)

However, over the years, yelling "Shit!" or "Crap!" when something goes wrong is fine. Calling someone a "bitch" is surprisingly growing on me (though I usually apologize quite remorsefully, after). And, much to the chagrin of my parents, "damn" is now part of my vocabulary to mean a higher degree than "very" or even "very very very very".

But among all these words with varying degrees of coarseness, I find the F word to be on the very top of that list.

Up until now, I have never been able to really say the word out loud. It's either "F" or "toot" or silently mouthed. While the rest of the world around me is using the word like water flowing from an open tap. They say it without thinking, without blinking. And here I am, still cringing every time I hear it. >.<

Well, I'm not here to say whether I think what she did was right or wrong. However, I would like to say that Ms. Trinetta Chong may have been a little inappropriate to use that word during a speech in a formal situation. No matter what reasons she had for using that particular word, the fact remains that F*** still brings with it negative connotations and is still offensive to a lot of people from all levels.

Putting that aside, I quite loved her speech. :)

It was simple, and her personality shone through. She was honest. She infused wit and humour into her speech--little jokes that I felt resonated with every single one of her fellow classmates who had gone through those four years in NTU. If I were one of them sitting in that great big convocation hall, I would smile or laugh at those crazy-but-good memories that I would certainly cherish always. Best of all in her speech, she managed to liken their School to that of the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! xD

I kinda liked her :)

Even though I do agree with some that her ending line was inappropriate, I felt that her speech somehow showcased something that we Malaysians lack--a sense of camaraderie.

I have witnessed several Graduation Ceremonies since my first year as part of the Choir. There are just so many rules and regulations and protocol to follow. One thing out of place and it is seen as a hugeeeeeee sin, or something.

Everybody has their Datuk titles, or Dato' Seri, or Yang Berbahagia, or Yang Amat Berhormat. Refer to the wrong one and you'll most likely hear gasps of shock throughout the entire hall.

Why do we hold on so tightly to protocol? Why are all these titles so important? Why do we constantly want to remind ourselves of our position? To remind others that we are a rank above the rest? That we are better than everyone else? That the rest are beneath us? Unimportant? Insignificant?

A speech like that in a Malaysian institution of higher education will create a big brouhaha all right. Not only because it is considered inappropriate. More than anything, I think it will create a brouhaha because it will be considered inappropriate in front of our Datuks, Dato' Seris, Yang Amat Berbahagias and Yang Amat Berhormats. Such camaraderie would be inappropriate in the presence of these Very Important ~~Pricks~~ People.

Do not get me wrong. I am not saying we should not have protocol. Protocol is good. It keeps things in order, and structured. But not to the extent that in all ways, we are practically bowing and kowtowing to these people of higher ranks.

All I'm wondering is why we cannot have a simple graduation ceremony for the graduates, with no boring speeches by whichever Professor Emeritus who is receiving an award at the same time we are graduating. With no heavily-emphasized protocol. With no orang besar with long names and long titles (like Prof Tan Sri Dato' Dr. *insert even longer name of over ten syllables here*).

I'd like to hear a speech where the person begins by admitting she feels like she's "about to pee in her pants at this moment". I'd like to hear a speech thanking the lecturers for, something close to my heart too, like "allowing us to eat during lectures," at my graduation ceremony.

How cool would that be? :D

What do you want to be when you grow up?

2011-08-01T01:44:00.002+08:00

...is a question that a lot of adults LOVE to ask kids.

"Doctor!"
"Engineer!"
"Scientist!"
"Astronaut!"

With these answers, the adults will nod in satisfaction and approval. Yes, these are the kind of answers that are expected. These are the kind of answers that are acceptable.

But, get an answer like:

"I don't know." Or,
"I'm not really sure."

and the adults are completely taken aback, as if someone had just pulled the rug from under their feet. Some might even stumble a few steps back in physical shock.

"Wha--Whattttt??? How cannnn???!! You dunno what you wanna be ar?"

And if you get that answer from someone who is not a kid per se? Maybe a young adolescent of 17? 18? 19?

I think the adults would literally fall over backwards on their bums with utter shock! Maybe with their mouths frozen in a rounded 'O' too. Like this ----> :O

When you think about it, why do we respond in such a way? It's acceptable for a five-year-old to say that he wants to be an astronaut when he grows up, but not acceptable for a seventeen-year-old to say he's unsure of his future career path?

Does a five-year-old even know what being an astronaut really means? What it entails? What he'd have to do, the responsibilities, the commitment, the day-to-day tasks of being an astronaut?

Ridiculous, isn't it?

Sure, I'm all for having a noble ambition and dreaming big. I'm going to be a future teacher la, helloooo?

But at the same time, it has to be realistic. It is an important decision that has to be based on more than just, "Cos I want to go to the moon like Datuk SMS!"

It's more complicated than that. (Duh!!)

You have to consider the subject matter and related academic fields of study. You have to consider your strengths in those said areas, your intellect, skills, capabilities. In certain professions, even your personality and temperament may determine if the career choice is the most suitable for you.

With all these to take into consideration, do you think a five-year-old can make such choices adequately? Even young adults in their twenties struggle with the "best career choice" for their lives, what more young adolescents?

The sad thing is, a lot of young people do not really put serious thought into selecting their future career choice. Many of them stick to ambitions they made when they were five! (Well, maybe not when they were exactly five, but when they were basically too young to really make such an important decision with absolute certainty.)

"No, I have to be a doctor! It's that, or nothing!"

When I hear things like that, I have to question their motives. Do they want to be a doctor because they have always had such compassion and heart for helping the sick and wounded, or simply because they had decided to be one when they were younger?

I have seen friends who are adamant on becoming doctors, engineers; yet are unable to scrape even a passing grade for biology and physics subjects in school. And they want to be professional doctors? Engineers?

It is a good ambition indeed, one that was always met with very impressed nods of approval. But have they ever re-evaluated this decision? Really considered if this was the right path for them, with their current abilities and capabilities, personality and temperament?

Many, who are at that fork in the road of life, do not do that. They would rather remain stubbornly persistent in pursuing a career that is not suitable for them in order to fulfill a "childhood dream" than accept that that "childhood dream" of theirs is not for them. Never was.

Making the right choice for the future is so very important. It determines if we will be fulfilled, satisfied, and live a meaningful life where we enjoy what we do, or if we will live miserable, frustrated, dissatisfied lives in a job we hate. Or worse, we might be in a job that we have always wanted, but never being the best that we can be because it is not the best job for us. Can you truly be happy knowing that you are not the best doctor, or the best engineer that you can be, simply because you refused to acknowledge that the profession might not be the best for you? That possibly, very possibly, your talents might be of better use in another field?

To do so, I believe that we have to be much older. With age, comes maturity and a better understanding of oneself. With age, we should possess a more comprehensive knowledge of who we are, our interests, as well our strengths and weaknesses as an individual.

So when, during family gatherings, I see an aunt or an uncle pestering some of my younger cousins, "harassing" them by asking them what they want to be (An accountant? Engineer? Or doctor like your father?) I get slightly annoyed.

Why the rush? They're only 13, 15 years old. Even at 17, 18, 19, 20--we can still be unsure of ourselves. Why do we push and pressure our kids to make such decisions now? You might be making them to set goals for themselves that may end up "blinding" them to other possibilities.

Give them time. Let them discover who they are as a person, realize their strengths and weaknesses, and then choose their careers based on what they're good at, and what they're genuinely interested in. All the money in the world will mean nothing if you're miserable doing what you do. You will live only with regret.

If they're sure, great. If they're still unsure, don't pressure them then either. Encourage them. Help them discover more about themselves. It's okay to be unsure. It's a huge decision, if you really think about it. And you want to make the right first step forward.

What do I want to be when I grow up?

I want to be happy.

So don't rush into such decisions, and don't rush others into such decisions.

I told my cousins, "Don't listen to kuku (aunty), listen to me. Take your time, you're still young. Find what you enjoy, what makes you happy, and go from there."

I guess, it's really not so complicated after all :)

It's All Worth It

2011-07-22T23:40:00.000+08:00

Shy+blur Hong Wei, with extremely-naughty

Yew Herng at the back.

Tse Wei at the piano with Ms. Lim,

and Nicolas :)

Super talkative Bryan (he can NEVER keep quiet for too long =.=)

and sweet Siti, who has Down's Syndrome

Our newest student, Zi Xin, who is such

a pleasure to teach :)

Some of these kids, despite telling them over and over and over again, always forget that a semibreve has four counts, a minim has two, and a crotchet has one. Every week, it's like doing the same lesson all over again. They never seem to get it. @.@

Some of these kids, instead of doing their work, chatter excitedly about their family trip to Malacca, or even to our very own Jusco. And it is very hard to get them to keep quiet once they get going. They are easily distracted with everything. They tease and bully each other, steal one another's pencils and erasers.

Some of these kids nod when you tell them to do something, deceiving you into believing they actually understand what you are saying, and then turn around and do something completely different.

Some of these kids keep falling off the kid stools because they prefer to sit on them like they have two legs instead of four. And no matter how many times you tell them to "Zuo hao hao lai!" (Sit properly!) they never do.

At times like these, they make me want to yell and pull all my hair out in frustration, or shake them until they get it. Sometimes, they make me want to throw my hands up in surrender!

But then there are also moments when they completely redeem themselves.

When they actually DO remember that a semibreve has four counts, a minim has two, and a crotchet has one. When they recognize the Middle C note, and exclaim it triumphantly! When they quietly and diligently finish the homework you gave them. When they answer every question right, even the tricky ones. When they look up at you and smile when you make a little joke for their benefit. :)

These moments remind me that what I'm doing is really worthwhile. These moments assure me that I am not a complete failure of a teacher. These moments convince me that naughty/playful/hyper-active kids are still worth teaching, as long as they have the right heart and attitude.

I am a strong believer in the fact that the right attitude is the key to success in life. You may not be the smartest, or the strongest, or the most capable. You may not have had a string of As in all your public examinations, or the highest GPA in your class. But as long as you have humility, and the earnest willingness to learn, you will do well, and go far.

I can tell, at this age, those who will succeed in the future. You can, you know.

I know of one who will not and, I suspect, will also experience trouble everywhere she goes, if she does not change her ways.

I hope she does, for her sake.

The Queen of Brats

2011-07-20T23:48:00.000+08:00

No matter how strong we think we are,

No matter how thick a skin we think we have,

We all have a fragile heart.

Easily wounded. Easily hurt. Easily crushed.

With words, actions. Subtle gestures, and facial expressions.

By friends, loved ones, family. Even by little eight-year-old brats.

Maybe the last one is just me.

The last three lessons with this little girl have been, to put it aptly, hell. And I am not exaggerating.

I have met my fair share of brats, let me tell you that. Brats who won't sit still, who scream and yell and shout the building down, who run around, or lie down on the floor and refuse to move (yes, try getting an eight-year-old off the floor when he doesn't want to. TRY IT.)

But this girl is, for certain, an entire breed of brat all on her own--a highly advanced one too. What I mean is, she's like, the absolute Worst Brat of all Brats. The Mother of all Brats. The Queen of Brats.

Every week, she enters the room screaming and yelling god knows what. She throws her books, flings her stationery across the room. She climbs onto the piano bench, jumps around. She kicks the small stool meant for placing feet, cos the kids are still too small for their feet to reach the floor while sitting on the piano bench. She refuses to even sit properly on the piano bench to play, and instead, bangs the keys on the piano ferociously, yelling triumphantly, "Here, let me play the piano for you!" She is distracted by anything and everything, ignoring me as I try to persuade her to play the piano properly. I guess you can tell, two teachers are not enough to control this little ~~creature~~ ~~monster~~ brat.

But worst of all, is her attitude. Gorsh, does she have serious attitude problems.

She is disrespectful and rude, and speaks to me and the other teacher as if we were the kids, and she was the Boss. She has called me numerous names over the past three lessons, talked back to me, shouted at me.

She challenges me at every turn, and I find myself having to control my temper every time I speak to her. Which she barely listens to anyway.

I have tried everything. I tried different approaches, sometimes over a span of ten minutes. The first lesson, I tried being nice, and buddy-buddy. I joked with her, teased her. Tried to nudge her to play. But she climbed over my head and trampled all over me. Well, I guess I completely understand the expression now, cos it sure felt that way.

Then I tried being strict. I gave her a stern stare and told her, "Tse Teng, tan hao hao lai. Ni yao wo da ni ma?" (Tse Teng, please play properly. Do you want me to hit you?) Her response? "HUH, Ni hui da ren de meh? Wo bu pa ni ar!" (HUH, would you actually hit anyone? I'm not afraid of you!)

When I reprimand her, she yells, "Ni xiang ni hen da meh? Wo da guo ni ar!" (literally translated: You think you're so big? I'm bigger than you!)

"Wo bu yao tan liao!" (I don't want to play anymore!) and then she'd slam her books shut and stomp off to stuff them in her bag. And I'm left at the piano, staring after her in disbelief. Stunned speechless.

Today, I had tried a different tactic. I came bearing gifts--chocolate-filled marshmallows, to bribe them into behaving well. All I wanted was at least one pleasant lesson. Just one.

She was wary at first, saying that I wouldn't give them to her anyway. I gave her a pinky promise, telling her I would definitely give her the treats if she behaved herself and played properly for me. She agreed. I was so relieved! She actually played more today than she had for the past two weeks combined! :D

But that didn't last long. No sirree.

After she'd gotten her marshmallow, I guess I had to expect she was the kind of person who would demand more. I told her I would give her another, with the condition being that she would complete her theory work, and behave herself, and listen to the other teacher as well. But she kept demanding them from me, harassing me every few minutes, even while I was tending to the other children.

It got to the point where I was very annoyed. I began to ignore her. I mean, if she had asked me nicely, I might answer her nicely. She was like, "Eh, gei wo gei wo gei wo!" (Eh, gimme gimme gimme!) And what I asked of her was reasonable, was it not? She had not done any of her theory work, was torturing the other teacher too, and was obsessed with climbing behind the clavinova, so why should I give her another marshmallow? She certainly did not deserve it!

When she got tired of me ignoring her, she practically climbed onto the piano bench, while there was another student sitting there, completely interrupting us, and said, "Wo you dong xi gen ni jiang," (I have something to tell you.) "Ni shi sa ben dan! Ni shi tan xin po!"

Okay, I know my Mandarin is not exactly fluent. But I understood what she said to me then. It is difficult to translate that, but she was basically saying I was crazy, and stupid. And that I was a greedy bitch. (Okay, it doesn't exactly mean 'bitch', but literally translated, it means grandmother. And obviously she does not mean I'm her grandma. You figure it out yourself.)

Those were pretty harsh insults. Ones that I found, surprisingly, hurtful.

I did not realize how badly they had wounded me, until I came home and sat on my bed, with tears flowing from the corners of my eyes.

How silly is that? How stupid am I?

She's just a freakin' eight-year-old!

Nevertheless, those words hurt me. They made me feel like I'm such a failure at being a teacher because I can't even get an eight-year-old to practice the piano. I used to think kids loved me as much as I loved them. I guess not.

I remember at the end of the lesson, just as she left the room, and when I still refused to give her that darn marshmallow, she threw me this absolutely dirty look. I could read very well what she was trying to tell me: "I HATE YOU." When I tried to talk to her, she shouted at me, in tears, "Bu yao gen wo jiang hua! Wo xin qing bu hao!" (Don't talk to me! I'm in a bad mood!)

Well guess what, BRAT, so am I.

I used to think that, no matter how "challenging" a student is, I will never give up on a student. I will never do that.

But I cannot handle this student. I cannot handle this...this brat.

What kind of a child is this who has no respect whatsoever for her elders? Who has the audacity and the gall to yell and scream and stomp her feet if she doesn't get her way? Who has such a potty mouth? Who has not even a scrap of manners? Who can call people such hurtful names?

She makes me drag my feet to a job that I actually quite enjoy. She has turned me into some monster, someone I do not like, that I told myself I'd never become.

I do not want to see her next week.

I hope I never see her again.

A Scary Post

2011-07-18T13:53:00.000+08:00

This is a very scary post. I recommend that the weak-hearted should discontinue reading from this point on. (I believe this is scary for both girls AND guys. So guys, if you ain't tough enough, just don't try.)

(Don't say I didn't warn you.)

Have you ever thought about what you will name your kids? What do you plan to name your daughter? Your son? If you had more than one daughter/son? What will their names be? And before even that, how many kids do you wish to have? :D

(Told you it was a scary post. Still not too late to turn back now!)

Such a happy baby! :D

Sam and I, on one of our occasional super-enthusiastic long conversations on the phone, discussed this matter at length.

(Fyi, personally, contrary to most people, I find guys who can commit to long-term relationships really hot, and guys who can discuss such matters of the future without squirming--or throwing up--and avoiding it altogether very attractive. Extremely attractive :D)

Yes, I find that one of the most attractive qualities in a man :)

Anyway, there were a few names we mentioned in our very unusual discussion. (Unusual because this is our first time actually talking about it, and although it felt strange at first, it turned out to be realllyyyy FUN! :P)

My pretty little princess? :)

We both agreed Isabel was a nice name. Hm, typing this out, I realize that we have to also agree on the variations of the name too. It could be Isabel, or Isabelle, even Isobel. And we could call her "Belle" for short! Like the princess in Beauty and the Beast! (Definitely NOT calling her Izzie >.<) Such a lovely name, right? :)

Speaking of Disney Princesses, I think Aurora is a beautiful name! Isn't it? It's unique and sounds so beautiful :) And what about Jasmine? I'd love for my little girl to have the kind of spunk her namesake had in Aladdin. Wouldn't you? :D Ah, Ariel is pretty too! And Melody! Maybe she'll be really gifted in music and singing with a name like that! :P

I kinda like the name Melissa too. It rolls off the tongue rather nicely, and sounds really pretty :) Cheryl and Vanessa sound nice too! And doesn't the name Dawn seem absolutely perfect for a girl? That name carries such beautiful images with it. :D Or Sheryl. Maybe Sheryllyn? Shirlynn is a no-no though. Sam has some weird history with a girl named Shirlynn. Don't ask. =.=

Look at those chubby wittle cheeks,

and chubby wittle fingers!

David is a no-no for a boy too. Too many Davids around. No Ryan, no Bryan, please. The naughtiest kids I know are named that >.< I like Nicholas, somehow, and Benjamin :) And Sam is allllll for Michael, named for his most beloved idol, the late Michael Jackson. Unfortunately, his brother is also Michael. He grumbled that just because his mum decided to name his brother that, now he can't name his own son Michael! xD

Anyway, if you want inspiration for names for kids, I doubt we can look to the celebrities for good choices. If you don't believe me, just go have a look yourself!

Suddenly, Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter being named Apple sounds pretty decent compared to the others now. @.@

Recently though, David Beckham's latest addition to his brood, born just last 10th of July, is named Harper Seven. I'm not kidding. Look it up.

He has a freakin' number in his name. Wow, if naming your kids numbers is becoming the latest trend, then my question is: how do we determine which numbers are masculine, and which are feminine? Or are all numbers unisexual?

Hm, Six sounds like a feminine name if you ask me. Melissa Six. What do you think?

Why don't they name them all in order then? Beckham should have just named his kids Brooklyn One, Romeo Two, Cruz Three and finally, Harper Four. Can't he count? Tsk tsk.

The tongue's out at you! xD

Another interesting idea for naming your kids: a friend of mine once told me that his parents had already planned that they wanted four kids. So the initial letters of all their names spelled the word LOVE. In order too! Lionel, Ordrey, Vincent and Eugene. How cool is that? Maybe I'll do something like that too, in the future!

(Don't copy me ar. It's my idea!) (Well, actually, it was Lionel's parents' idea. Fine. But I'm copyrighting that idea! xD)

So what are you planning to name your kids? :D