Wednesday, July 15, 2009


I was reprimanded the other day - very subtly, but not really - on the way I dressed.

This semester was going to be the first time I had classes with my mentor in the Faculty of Education.
We were doing Psycholinguistics, the combination of psychology and linguistics (which she mentioned in her lecture I think more than 3 times >.<) When I met her during our sessions (I'm using the plural here only cos I've gone to her like, twice), she seemed rather nice. I genuinely believed she was nice. She asked me about myself during our first session, and then subsequently asked me to write an introduction essay on myself and to hand it in to her (macam real assignment jer). I had this belief that it would be good to have someone to confide in while I'm here. Someone I can really come to for advice and help should I need anything. I guess, I thought it would not hurt to have someone on my side, you know?

So I guess you could say that I poured my heart and soul into the essay I sent her. I told her about my family, telling her about both my parents being teachers. I told her about being the eldest in the family with two younger brothers. I told her about the teachers who inspired me to be a teacher as well. I expressed how grateful I felt for the teachers who have been in my life, why that led to me finally choosing to do Arts instead of Science even after going through torture under Form 6 Science Stream (Biology is a killer!!! And Maths T! OMG). I talked about my passion for English, my little experience in teaching, my love for writing short stories and some of my published ones. I wrote about why I love the piano, and playing music. And other stuff.

I wrote three pages. >.< 

Anyway. I did not expect it at all, but she send me an SMS a while after I handed the essay in to her. She basically told me that she thought I was a very unique person (I am not making this up) and that she could see that I had a passion for teaching (betul ke tak, saya tak tau).

I could not help it. My heart swelled. Rasa happy jugak kan, bila kena puji?

The next time I made an appointment with her to let her know my second semester's results.
When I was at her door, she looked up at me and asked, "Yes, my dear. Who are you?"

Zhadao. >.<  Ouch. Talk about injured heart (literal translation from Mandarin, but I guess you can tell the meaning). 

Anyway. I haven't even started my real story yet. In her class this sem, I was rather nervous. Will she remember me? Doubt it. But will my actions in class affect how she will evaluate me? I stood up in the front of the class, as was her request, to introduce ourselves and let her get to know us all better. When I did, she looked me up and down and said, "Erm, we have a dress code in UKM, you know?" *imagine my eyes widening here* 

Totally unexpected; I was practically speechless. I was wearing jeans, sandals and a blouse. Okay, I reckon I should not be wearing round-necked blouses to class, but it wasn't that bad, was it? I was decent, that's for sure. No exposed cleavage, or even exposed knees or calves. "As future educators, you should dress like one. Maybe once in a while you can wear baju kurung."


Has she tried wearing baju kurung and walking for 15 minutes to the Fac?
Obviously NOT.

If she has, she would know how terribly IMPRACTICAL a baju kurung is when it comes to walking long distances. And mind you, it's not nice, flat ground meant for walking. It's up slopes and rocky pavements with holes and uneven tiles that can just as easily cause you to sprain your ankle.

Wearing a baju kurung would just increase the chances of injuring yourself.
Not to mention you'd probably have to walk in smaller steps, what with the length of the skirt and all, and take almost double the time to reach the destination.


She might be funny, and her lectures good, but I foresee her critical eyes watching me in everything I do.

Thank God there's no Psycholinguictics class next week.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Malam Last Minute

I dislike last minute details.

I really do.

I dislike people telling me at the last minute that things need to be changed from what we have been preparing before this.

It makes me nervous.
And panicky.
And few-beats-short-of-a-heart-attack-y.

What do I mean? Oh well, perhaps something like the Timbalan Menteri Pengajian Tinggi showing up for our performance on Friday night?
Darn him. Why does he have to come? As if he was interested in UKM first years' Malam Tunas Seni anyways. Why don't he just go back where he came from and leave us alone. All these orang besar-besar are such a pain in the *censored*
'Cos of him, we had to shorten ALL our performances. They even suggested cutting out our Varsiti Kita and Ilmu, Mutu dan Budi that the first years' have been practising in parts for the past four days!
NOT an easy thing to do. They have been practising so hard. And the PCs and volunteers have worked our butts off to get them ready to perform those two songs. Cut them out and what's left? NOTHING. How DARE they suggest such a thing!!!! *indignant*
Not to mention, the added pressure of an orang besar watching. >.< Anywayyy. Do not wanna talk about that.
Being PC Pusat was kinda stressful. It changes your perspective a little.
I realized that there were a lot of things the facilitators have to take care of that everyone else seems oblivious to. It's not easy being a PC. And this year seems to be the worst of it.

Right from the beginning there was a certain tension between the PC Pusat and PC Kolej.
Both parties seemed to be trapped in some misunderstanding and neither was willing to give in, or compromise.
And it made our responsibilities that much harder to carry out. >.<

Again, I do not want to talk about that.
On a more positive note (finally!!) I tried playing the gamelan for the first time! I had always wanted to try it - and finally that day, I built up the nerve to pick up the sticks (what do you call them??) and play!!
It is actually really fun!
It is not as easy as it looks. It requires some good hand coordination and skills, man. Seriously. It took me some time, but I got the hang of it! After that, I kept hearing the melody in my head everywhere and kept thinking of playing them again!! XD

Ooh, and I tried playing the angklung as well. I bet some of you don't know what it is!! Well, I didn't know what they were either, until I first saw them last year during our MMP.
This time, I get to touch it. I played C#. I find it ingenious how olden-day people could create and invent such beautiful musical instruments that could produce such sweet sounds!
It is made of bamboo and it produces sound when you rattle it! (I have no idea how to describe how one plays it. "Rattle" was the only word I could think of >.<) and each angklung can only produce one single note. Hence, it is not an individual instrument, and must be played as a group in order to play a full song!
And together, wow. I like the sound :)

Gamelan ~ it's so fun!!

Angklung ~ C# note


I think I might sneak into DECTAR late at night and play the gamelan again. I just might XD

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

I Still Believe

It has been ages since I last blogged.
Did not seem to have the mood lately. I took loads of photos though, with the intention of posting them up.
But....never did in the end. Don't feel like doing that now either.

I am back in UKM, helping out with the first years' orientation, or Minggu Mesra Pelajar (MMP).
Insanely tiring, and stressful.

Gosh, looking back on those days during my MMP, I was oblivious to everything that was going on.
Now that I'm a pemudahcara (PC) or facilitator - like, OMG OMG OMG.
So many things to worry about!!!

If ever I experience a moment of insanity and even mention ever becoming a PC again, I give you guys the permission to shoot me in the head before I do. Never. I just can't take the pressure.
This is the first, and the LAST time.

Anyways, too many things have happened.
And I'm lazy to talk about it here.
But, there was something that actually made me feel like blogging again!

I watched Cinderella 3.
Yes, there is a 3rd installment. I never knew that either till my roomie Nana told me.
I just finished watching it just now.
And at the end of the movie, there was this song (again?!) and it was really nice!!

When I searched it on YouTube, I was surprised to find that it was sung by Hayden Panettiere (the freaky girl with the power of regeneration who can't die in Heroes)!!

I Still Believe
Hayden Panettiere~

Somehow I know I will find a way
To a brighter day in the sun
Somewhere that I know he waits for me
Someday soon he'll see I'm the one

I won't give up on this feeling
And nothing could keep me away

Cause I still believe in destiny
That you and I were meant to be
I still wish on the stars as they fall from above
Cause I still believe, believe in love

I know what's real can not be denied
Although it may hide for a while
With just one touch, love can calm your fears
Turning all your tears into smiles

It's such a wonderous feeling
I know that my heart can't be wrong

Cause I still believe in destiny
That you and I were meant to be
I still wish on the stars as they fall from above
Cause I still believe, believe in love

Love can make miracles, change everything
Lift you from the darkness and make your heart sing
Love is a river when you fall
It's the greatest power of all

Cause I still believe in destiny
That you and I were meant to be
I still wish on the stars as they fall from above
Cause I still believe, believe in love

MMP week is almost over. And I found 3 juniors doing TESL in my college - 3 times more than MY batch!!
After a full week of planning and preparing and getting stressed out and panicking and going for meetings and all, it's almost over.
Tomorrow, is gonna be a free day.
After post-mortem at 10am, I should be left alone. I hope. No more work to do. :)

Maybe I will watch another cartoon movie :P