Friday, July 23, 2010

Getting Older, and Bitter

Looking at the new first-year juniors, I feel old.


Yes, at 21, I actually feel old. I guess it is true like they say, that age is relative.




Although it is only a small two year gap between us third years and the first years, I can't help thinking that we are so very different.

I have had more than one experience with irresponsible people. But choir auditions and practices this year have given me more than my fair share ! >.<





Those who do not come for practices without informing you.

Those who "forgot" there was a practice even after having been reminded repeatedly.

Those who say yes, they are willing to commit, and then never to see their batang hidung anywhere thereafter.

Those who tell you, yes they will be there for a make-up audition session, and you get there early just for the sake of giving them a fair chance to find that there is nobody there. And you end up waiting for an hour for nothing.




It's quite perplexing isn't it?

Maybe it's just me then.




If it were me,

I would, at least, inform seniors/committee members that I will not be able to make it.

I would make a note, a reminder, anything, to make sure I remember to turn up for practice.

If I have given my commitment, I would stay committed. Meaning, come for practices, work hard. If I doubt I can give my commitment, to actually say so, straightforward, rather than lie.

I would call to find out what happened, turn up early for the audition, apologize profusely if I'm late. But at the very least, to actually turn up when there are people expecting me.





But I guess other people are not me.

It's frustrating sometimes.

But whatever. No more second chances.



However, to be fair, there are those who are committed. There are those who faithfully come for practices, who show enthusiasm, who try hard, who are willing to give their time, who even come for both weekday practices even when you are only required to come for one.

Thank God for them, rare as they are.

They give me hope. :D



I'm too soft, that's why. Maybe I need to have a harder exterior, a stricter demeanor.

Then maybe other people will take me seriously.

Then maybe such frustrating things will not happen.




Even after I typed that sentence I find it hard to believe. =.=






Ugh. I sound like a bitter, pessimistic old maid.

Maybe I am old >.<

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Of Styes, Fevers and Spare Room Keys

It's only been two weeks into the new semester and already I feel exhausted.




Choir auditions were in full swing last week. Four days last week (Monday to Thursday) I only came back to my room after 11.00 pm. I couldn't even draw up the energy nor the enthusiasm to "poke" my friends on Facebook back >.< What more blog?






Then, I went home for the weekend and somehow, annoyingly, developed a stye.








Most people who have never experienced a painful, irritating stye before would not normally know what it is.


I used to get them all the time when I was a kid ! (I was naughty, scrubbed my eyes with my dirty, muddy, germy little hands >.<) 


(I had this one bad experience once, the stye was so huge half my vision of my left eye was blocked. So I had to have this mini-surgery, you know? My brother tells me he remembers -- even at that age -- the doctor making a cut on the lump to drain the pus from the sac, and the blood trickling down the side of my face as I screamed and screamed and screamed.)


(I guess you get the picture. Styes are nasty things. Unpleasant, to say the least. >.<)






Anyhow, I came back to UKM with an annoying stye, conducted the Choir's first practice with it (how damn embarrassing !!!! =.=) and brought back antibiotics, swelling medication and eye drops to counter it. But oh no, it won't go away until everyone (especially my course mates) have had a chance to see it.


You won't believe how many "Aiyerrrrr Lisa, you peep at people bathing in the shower ar?" jokes I received this week. Har-har. Funny.










Then I had a terrible sore throat the night before last. A painful one. You know the kind. You swallow and you feel like someone just stabbed a knife through your esophagus. (Not that someone has actually run a knife through my throat before, but that's what I imagine the pain to be like, you see.)


A sore throat is bad. You know why? It is always, always, ALWAYS followed by something else. Something bad. At least in my case.




The next day, my worst fears came true.




By the third class of the day, I was feverish. And of course, there was no better time to develop an annoying (yes, all these things are "annoying") headache.






Maybe because of the cumulative effect of all these (annoying) things happening, the following happened:








I stayed up late to work on the organizational chart for the Artisukma Choir Club for the exhibition in Pusanika. It was one something in the morning by the time I was done writing, drawing, cutting and pasting. I was tired and sleepy with a mild headache, plus the sore throat was getting worse by the minute.


I had a full day of classes the next day, from 10.00 am to 6.00 pm, and thought I should need to conserve the energy that was needed to walk to Pusanika to put the chart up. So I thought Nana (my ex-roomie *sobs*) could do me that favour.


I texted her. Message wasn't delivered. Which meant that she has turned her phone off and gone to sleep. (She's the only person I know who turns her phone off when she sleeps at night. =.=)


I was at a loss as to what to do now. Giving it to her the next morning would be too much of a rush for me. Plus, I needed all the sleep I can get ! I didn't want to get up earlier than was absolutely necessary.




Then I had a brilliant idea.




I had her spare room key. (And she had mine. It's like this, you see. These new single rooms of ours had the kind of knobs where you could actually lock the door by accident and leave your room keys inside the room. Meaning, getting locked out of your room was a high possibility in times of carelessness, or, as you will see later, sleepiness.)


Since I had her spare key, I could just get into her room, place the chart on her table with a note telling her about the favour I needed her to do, and go back to my room without having to wake her up ! Pure genius, right?


So I went down the six flights of stairs to her room and did everything I needed to do. But that dear girl of ours, despite claiming herself to be a light sleeper, realized nothing and slept on peacefully.


I was so pleased with myself. I'd finished my work and now, I could get my much-needed sleep.


As I stood outside my door, I was suddenly hit with a revelation.






I had brought her spare room keys out, yes.
But not mine.






It was hanging happily on the hook behind my door. Inside my room.


Locked out of my own room. In my jammies. Without my handphone. At 1.30 in the morning.


=.=|||




Then, I slapped myself on the forehead. 




Doesn't Nana have my spare room keys too?






So I went back down the stairs after having climbed up it a mere 10 seconds ago. (Did I mention that there were six flights of stairs? I did? Oh. Well.)


I was back in her room, groping around in the dark for my keys. I couldn't find them. Where did she put it? 


I stole a glance at her sleeping on her bed. I realllllyyyy did not want to wake her up. I mean, the whole reason I was in this mess in the first place was because I did not want to disturb her sleeping, wasn't it?


I groped around for another few minutes, searching through her drawers, her pencil case, her table. I gave up. I can't find it. I had no other choice.


I stood a good distance away from her so she wouldn't wake up screaming at a face so close up to hers in her room in the middle of the night. I braced myself for it (the screaming I mean) as I turned the lights on.


*Click*




No response.


She was still sleeping ! >.<






Calling her name from varying distances didn't help either. She just didn't wake up, even with the lights on. So I shrugged and continued searching for my keys, this time in better lighting.






Finally I found it. It was on her table. Attached to the ring of her own room keys.




Damn. Why did I not think of that earlier? =.=






As I lay on my bed that night (or early morning --  it was 2 in the morning already), safely back in my own room, a thought occurred to me.


It was a blessing that she had not latched her door. Otherwise...otherwise.






Well, I guess then I would have been sleeping outside her door till the morning. @.@

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Brand New

It's the brand new semester of a brand new academic session.



How do I know?




Incident #1:

My dad's car, packed to the brim with all my bring-back-to-UKM stuff, is parked under the tent as I wait to check in to my room.

Before I knew what was happening, I was surrounded by red-and-green clad, baby-faced kids who looked a little worse for wear. (Well, the first-years have been undergoing Orientation for a week already then.)

I told my dad that he should park the car elsewhere because it seems that they are abuzz with the anticipation of an activity which is, judging by their attire, something sports-y.


I continued standing there.


Then a first-year looked up at me, a frown on her face. She approaches me and says (in English):

"Hello. Are you a newcomer?"

I think my face must have shown my shock (maybe a little annoyance too) as I replied, "Of course not ! I'm a third-year already !"

She apologized profusely then turned to her friends and desperately explained "I didn't know ! She's so small ! How could I know she's a senior !"


How dare she?! I'm a senior ! A senior, I tell you !!!





Incident #2:

I was at the bus stop waiting for the bus to get to my next class. It was sweltering hot, and I was trying to get my entire body within the boundaries of the cool shadows from the trees overhead.

A young Malay boy crossed the road from across and sat down next to me.

He asked me what buses had already passed, worried in case he had missed the one he needed to be on.

I told him the ones that I had seen pass, and then we settled into silence.

Maybe because he felt some sense of gratitude, he felt it necessary to prolong the conversation. He asked casually, "So, kamu first-year jugak?"

I was somehow expecting that. >.<





Incident #3:

It was a morning class at 8.00 am in the morning. When the bus arrived it was so packed with people there were some even standing on the steps up the bus !

Being small-sized, I imagined I might be able to squeeze in. So I did.

A tall, lanky guy dressed smartly in a shirt and slacks with the (hideous) UKM tie and a lanyard and matric card (these are obvious tell-tale signs that they are first-years ! :P) squeezed in right behind me.

I don't know what is up with people nowadays, but he began the conversation with, "What year are you in?"

I responded by asking him, "What do you think?"

"First-year?"

=.=|||

"I'm in my third year."

"Wow, you can't really tell ! Were you in matriculation?"

"No, I sat for STPM."

"Wow. Then you really can't tell !"





How do these 3 incidents relate to how I started this post?

Well, you know it's a brand new semester of a brand new academic session when you get mistaken for a first-year 3 times within the first week of classes.




Or maybe it's just me.






p.s: Is it me, or do the new first-years seem more daring than we ever were in our first week?

Monday, July 12, 2010

When Alone

The room is completely silent except for the whirring of the ceiling fan.

My eye is kinda swollen (I feel a sty coming on >.<) and I'm feeling a little feverish.

Was feeling a little sorry for myself.



I was exhausted and aching all over from (believe it !) yesterday's strenuous exercise of carrying my luggage several trips up and down six flights of stairs. (I know, I'm totally out of shape !!! =.=)

My eyes are closing, cos I'm tired and my head feels heavy, but I'm a stubborn person I am. The World Cup finals are on tonight, and by hook or by crook I am going to watch it !!!!

(I totally wanted to be a loyal fan and support Germany watching the third-fourth placing game last night. But I fell asleep and didn't want to get up again. Fail la !! D:)




As I'm typing on my computer, browsing through Facebook and blogs, I noticed a little fluttery movement above me.

I looked up at my study lamp.


A moth.

(Ugly things aren't they? I do pity them though. I would imagine they're actually rather marvelous creatures, but compared to their beautiful cousins, the butterflies, how can they compare? I think butterflies are pretty. But there's just something about flying things that gets me all jittery. I'm not exactly scared, per se, just.....jittery. I don't like them landing on my face, head, hair, whatever. Geli. >.<)



Now, normally I would squeal and run over to the other side of the room to my roomie's place and desperately tug at her hand, whispering furiously (in case the moth can hear me) "There's a moth ! There's a moth !!!!"

But there was no roomie.

There was no one at all.

All was silent.




So I got up, grabbed a used Family Store plastic bag, and placed it slowly over the moth as it hung, motionless now, from my lamp.

It flitted furiously now, its wings making light noises against the plastic bag.

I slowly pulled the opening till it was taut and closed.



The moth was trapped.



Without emotion, without even thinking, really, I took the plastic bag, went out the door all the way down to the end of the corridor, and set the moth free outside the hostel block.




I can't believe I actually did that.




The things you never knew you could do in the face of solidarity.

I guess this is how it's gonna be from now on. :)

Sunday, July 11, 2010

And the Cycle Begins Again

No, I'm not talking about a woman's "time of the month". 
Of course not that kind of cycle. Sheesh. 
Have I nothing else to blog about? (On second thought......nevermind.)


I'm referring to the cycle of having to return back to uni after a blissful two months of doing nothing but eat, sleep, online, watch TV, dramas and anime, endure another 5 months of hellish work and assignments, and back to the holidays. I mean, after two months of eat-sleep-online-watch-TV-dramas-and-anime, it's definitely hard to come back to non-civilization. (I mean Bangi.)






I'll miss my mum and dad, my little bro (now all alone at home). I'll miss not having to do anything (and by anything I mean house chores and such). (Yes, my mum spoils me rotten ! >.<)




I'll miss my bed (currently adorning a dark rich maroon which I simply love ! I mean, the colour just makes it look slimmer !) (Hm, maybe I should make it into a dress someday.)

I'll miss my cuddly friends who keep me company at night. :)

Cuddles, my cuddly bear


Tiny, my teeny tiny tiger


Poppy, a floppy bunny



But I just couldn't leave Bobby behind !

Aren't my eyes as big as Bobby's? O,O



This time round, checking in to my residential college was my biggest fear.

Why?

Well, I was hoping to still be roomed in the junior block (despite the fact I'm no longer a junior >.< Who cares, anyway?) because of all the conveniences that entails. It's near the cafeteria, near the administration office (to complain about stuff, see?) not to mention a higher availability of water (there's an R.O. and water cooler) >.<


Nana, my roomie of 2 years :)

And and andddd my roomie and I were planning to stay together again for this semester. I mean, we get along with each other pretty well, and we have been room mates for 4 semesters already. Staying together is more fun anyways.

So I was praying and hoping and hoping and praying that I'd get a room in the junior block (there are no twin-sharing rooms in the senior block). I'm not really looking forward to staying *whispers* alone ! :(

Unfortunately, more often than not, the one thing you fear the most, is the one thing that will actually happen.



I was kicked out of the junior block that I was staying in for the past two years :(

Senior block. Single room. Top-freakin'-floor.

Six flights of stairs. (Almost died carrying all my luggage up it !) Missing window pane. Hole in top of wall big enough for a guy to climb in (I kid you not !). Stuck cupboard door and drawer. Hideous pink paper flowers and butterflies stuck all over wall with an even more hideous pink fence running along it, courtesy of previous occupant. (wth. Can't the previous person have been more artistic than a 5-year-old?)

Whole corridor only 2 bathrooms and 2 toilets. Both toilets can't flush. One can't be locked. (Have to think of doing "big business" elsewhere >.<) Both bathrooms missing shower knobs. Only one shower has a head. 2 sinks. Both not even a single drop of water.


A nightmare.





My roomie (now ex-roomie *sigh*) was 3 floors below me in the next block, Chrissy in the floor below mine. Worse, MayLee and Hani were shifting out to another college.

We're so far apart now ! Made me feel so depressed. We used to be able to holler down the corridor and be able to holler answers back.

Now, I doubt any one of them will be able to hear me holler. (Except the cockroaches on my floor perhaps.)


So we decided to have dinner together, while MayLee was still around (before she shifted into the Other College for good) in Hentian Kajang. Chrissy couldn't join us cos she was at church. (I wasn't. Oops. xD)

We took a mini bus there. And typical of all mini buses, we got off with the wind-blown effect we were looking for. (Not really.) (Definitely not.)

(Warning: Extremely unflattering pictures of otherwise hot babes to follow. Objects seen are certainly more awesome -- and sane -- then is shown.)













The pictures are blurry cos, obviously it was a 
bumpy and windy ride !


But we had a lot of fun ! :D

It was great to chat with them, but it really does seem sort of like a farewell. :(

Who knows when's the next time we could hang out for makan together like this again. 


Or help each other take camwhore pictures. xD





Anyhow, no matter the distance, the friendship goes on.

As if it could affect us. Pfft. :D

Hugs y'all !!! <3

Friday, July 9, 2010

Twilight Saga: Eclipse

I have to tell you.






The first two movies of the Twilight saga was less than satisfactory. The first movie was a let-down. The second was only slightly better than the first for me (only because Jacob officially transformed into a werewolf and there was more to watch on-screen, if you get what I mean). 


(Plus, there were more of those exciting fighting scenes, which were lacking in the first movie.)


Hence, you would understand when I wasn't exactly jumping up and down for the third installment of the series.











But when Sam asked me out to watch it with a couple of his friends who were Twihards, I relented. Only so I could get out of the house and......just get out of the house. :)


Where else would we go to watch it but our favourite haunt at Jusco, Seremban 2? :P




After devouring a nice, creamy, cold Oreo McFlurry (I practically lived for these back in Bangi -- and I'll be going back there in less than 24 hours >.<) and chatting with the rest, I was actually feeling pretty pumped up and psyched about watching the movie. I mean, Taylor Lautner people ! Taylor. Lautner. :D










(Warning: Spoilers for the movie Twilight: Eclipse from here onwards)








The movie began intriguingly enough. Definitely made me sit up in my seat a bit and search my brain frantically for a related recollection of what had happened in the previous movies. What was happening? Did I miss out some relevant important incident from the previous movie? I couldn't remember.


I thought, Hm, maybe this movie is going to be the best one yet (as others have said).


I spoke (or thought) too soon. >.<








That feel-good feeling lasted about 2 minutes, when the scene ended.


Then it was blah all the way till the almost-end, where there was the clash between the new-born army of vampires and the Cullens, who had teamed up with the Werewolf pack for the sake of Bella's safety, and then it was blah till the end.






In between that, there was a lot of this:


Edward and Bella, staring into each others' eyes




And a lot of this:


Kissing, cuddling, whispering "You're my Bella."
You know, cheesy lines.






And this:


Can't keep their hands off each other ! @.@




Although I wished there was more of this instead:


Jacob is the better choice, bodoh !!!










In this movie, more was shown of the Werewolves and the Vamps. They were as different as day and night, black and white. Bella had certainly made her decision, but I can't help thinking she was making a mistake, something that Jacob was trying to convince her of as well. Which side would you pick?


The Werewolf pack
(Look at those washboard abs galore !!! *drools*)


The icy Cullen Clan








One nagging thought though, was running through my head throughout the entire movie.


Why on earth were two hunky guys fighting over Bella?




After two movies (no, three now) I have yet to see the reason for Edward and Jacob to fight-to-the-death for Bella's love and affection. 


(And there were plenty of scenes where Edward and Jacob literally looked like they were about to tear the other into pieces. If looks could kill. >.<)










What is so special about her? All I can tell about Bella is that she's impulsive, stubborn and selfish. I look at her and all I feel is immediate dislike. I try very hard to feel for her, but I can't. 


I just don't like her. >.<




And her character in the saga is seriously nothing special. I mean, it's fine to have a perfectly whiny emotionally-unstable girl-next-door heroine as the star of your romance stories. But what I find utterly unacceptable is the way these two heroes of ours are fawning over her dark, dead eyes and her placid, emotionless disposition.








Well then, she seems more suited to be a vampire I suppose. She's already pale and vampirey** so although I do not agree with the idea, she should definitely end up with Edward Cullen. It's only because Jacob seems to be so in love with her that I feel sorry for Jacob. Otherwise, I'd just tell darling Jacob this: 


"Honey, she doesn't deserve you."






Well, if Bella were to choose between the two, I wonder why she doesn't pick the obvious choice. I mean, sure Edward is cool and all that (not to mention dead) (and possibly soul-less) but he's also so......cold (not just temperature-wise). He seldom has strong emotions, or is passionate about anything.




Jacob on the other hand makes you feel so alive. And his eyes is so transparent you can practically see the intense fire that he holds within them. He's kind, reliable, strong and warm. 






And as he tries to convince Bella he is the better choice, he says (while placing her hand on his chest) "You feel this? This is flesh and blood and warmth." Which is spot-on ! All Edward can give her is cold and the life of the undead.


Gosh, is she dumb or what? Choosing an immortal life but of which entails watching everyone you love die before you. Leaving all of them behind. That, over love and warmth and family.


Love has never been so freakin' BLIND.












With all these conflicts I'm having within myself of the entire relationship dimension between the main characters, I just could not really enjoy the movie. It's hard to enjoy a movie experience when you cannot even root for the heroine and the hero and hope they end up together.


I mean, can you?


In the end, I just let the reel play on while I busied myself in finishing the Chachos Cheezy Cheese snacks and slurping the last of the Coke.


Like I said, the movie was only blah for me.


Its only saving grace?


Taylor Lautner -- with his shirt off.
Ooh, la la ! o.O
Edward Cullen, you lose.
















I give this movie a 1/5. The 1 star for Taylor Lautner. :)




**vampirey: No such word exists in the English language. But there was no other way I knew to describe Bella's personality. >.< Speaks a lot about her personality, eh?