Thursday, February 26, 2009


"Who, here, believes that there is no such thing as luck?"

Two hands were raised. Mine included.

is such a thing as luck."

He elaborated.

"Let's just say, there is this man, who gets into politics and maintains a high position in a government ministry. He asks his hill-billy contractor cousin to sign a contract worth RM5 million but is planning to charge the client RM7 million. They profit RM2 million from it, and in that instant, the hill-billy guy, is a millionaire."

"The guy just happened to rub shoulders with high people. He was just in the right place, at the right time."

"If that is not luck, what is it?"

My lecturer tells us that in one of our digressions (as usual) from the actual topic. But the thing is, our digressions are always interesting, so we don't mind a bit. Plus, I like this lecturer. Contrary to other times though, I just could not agree with what he said this time.

My belief is that there is
no such thing as luck.
People don't happen to be in the right place at the right time, or, conversely, at the wrong place, wrong time.

I believe whatever we do, whatever happens, it was
meant to happen. By God.
Every experience we have is meant for
us at that particular moment in our life. The reason being that we will benefit and learn from it.

There is no CHANCE happening.

One of the views of luck:
Luck as a Fallacy

It is a view that holds the idea of "luck is probability taken personally". For example, every incident happening, an accident maybe, has a logical, mathematical, rational probability for it happening. But people take it personally. They emphasize on the fact that it happened to
People who believe in this view of luck, believe that when 2 events happen in sequence, they must have a causal relationship. In simpler terms:
A happens (some event that they believe to attract luck) and then B happens.
A caused B.

An example given from Wikipedia:

A brick falls on a man walking below, and it is blamed on his
bad luck. But the reality is, there are soo many factors that can be explained logically, mathematically, rationally, on the probabilities of that happening to anyone who walked near that building.

Things that happen to us are never by chance.

Impossible. No way.

I believe that if you believe in God, it's never chance, or LUCK.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

HELP? *gulp*

I looked around me. There was nothing but disaster. In my panic, I shouted, "Help! Help!"

But it was all in vain. No one could hear my cries now. I was very much on my own.

I ran until it felt like my lungs were going to give out. My legs ached. Beads of perspiration formed and trickled down my face, stinging my eyes, obscuring my vision.

Oh, no! A dead end.

I swerved to my right, panting heavily. I could sense him right behind me; enormous, his footsteps causing a mini earthquake.

I kept running, avoiding the overturned pots and pans; fear driving me to push myself to the limit despite every muscle in my body yelling at me to stop.

I turned to look at him. He was gaining on me!


I felt a sharp pain in my tail. I looked toward the source of the pain -- it was trapped, caught.
Defenseless, I thought.

I shivered. I looked up.

And there he was; laughing, sinister.

He grabbed me by the tail and held me over a large pail of water.

He stared me in the eyes, still laughing.

And I knew I was doomed.

p.s: This is a story (edited) that my partner and I came up with when our lecturer (yes, the same one) asked us to complete the essay. She gave us only that first line. The rest is ours. :P

Monday, February 23, 2009

Natural Love

It had been raining that afternoon.

The ground was all soggy and had this damp-tar-road smell, and there were wet puddles you had to avoid everywhere.

I had to roll the legs of my jeans up, and I could already feel the dampness at the back of my calves due to the unavoidable splashing of dirty water when you walk.

I was all wet; my umbrella was dripping water on me when I was not careful enough.

Gloomy, sad, frustratingly wet day.

*Grumble grumble*

Then I saw this:

along the road by DECTAR as I was walking back from class.

I couldn't help it.

I smiled.

And took a photo of course. :)

How pretty,

Sunday, February 22, 2009

From Brunette to Redhead

(Just the night before actually)

Yes, people.


As of 4.47pm, 22nd of February 2009, a Sunday evening, my hair
Personal hair stylists:

1) May Lee

2) Aileena

The equipment:

Colour cream, solution-to-mix-dye-with,
hair conditioner and plastic gloves.

Why? people ask. Why NOT? I answer.

Now's the time to experiment, and play around, experience and try out something new.

The experience was...interesting to say the least. Fui Na (who lives 3 doors down) mentioned that she heard us screaming "My hair, my HAIR!!!" that afternoon. I denied.

It was actually "My hand, my HAND!!"
May Lee (who was the one rubbing the dye into my hair) was squealing cos the dye had gotten onto her hands
despite the gloves.

So she pretty much looked like she'd just murdered someone. Or slaughtered a chicken.

Nana's hands were spotted with "blood" from goodness knows which animal now.

Me? I was pretty much clean.

I've always been conventional when it comes to hairstyles. Hair colour included.
Now, I've taken my first step to growing more courageous and daring where (hair) fashion is concerned.

Well, okay, it's not that daring cos' I mean, it's just red. Tons of people dye their hair red, right?
But this is new for
me. This is something different for me. This is stepping out of my comfort zone.

I was willing to try something new.
And it's exhilirating!!

Such an achievement!! Thank you thank you!!
*bows to imaginary audience*

Try it yourself ;P
The product:

(can you see it can you see it???!!!)

Choir Night 2009

Hey, let's camwhore!!! XD

May Lee, Chiew Yen and me, obviously bored
Posing with erm, poker cards

Chiew Yen and I

Bu May Lee and I :)

Tata and I
I'm gonna miss you loads!!

Celebrate the Seasons
Hotel Equatorial, Bangi

I decided to wear my blue dress in the end. Was going back and forth between the green dress with a cute white belt, or a more formal blue one for weeks. Phew. Such a difficult decision, I swear. Why don't guys have troubles like these? *grumble grumble*

The place was great. Not too big, not too small; just nice. :)
kudos to Rachel for securing the location! I mean, it's a 5-star hotel!! Air-conditioned, with plush cushiony seats and a napkin which we all debated if it were for tucking in at the collar, or spreading across the lap. (It's for the lap, fyi)

Being part of the committee for Choir Night, it was pretty nerve-wrecking actually, come Saturday evening.
Planning it was no easy task. There were a few complications, and a disappointing lack of response in the beginning. But everything turned out great in the end. At least, I hear of people saying they enjoyed the night, so that's good right?

I was really excited about Choir Night ever since they told us there would be one, every year. I'd already bought my dress last
year. Yeah, a little enthusiastic I guess. XD
It's a night where we get to dress up, eat nice and have fun with friends who were like family! How cool is that?

Which is why I was soo surprised at the poor response from the rest! I kept wondering why on earth would they
not wanna go? None of my friends were going in the end. Except May Lee. I was sorely disappointed. Was soo looking forward to dressing up together and getting each other's make up done, and hanging out and joking around and....and....Oh well.

Food was pretty good too! Hadn't had shark's fins soup in aaaaggggeeess!!! (Don't say a word about inhuman treatment of sharks -- you're just jealous!!) But it was funny how we all had to wait for Hoc Mun to take out his camera and take a few shots of the steaming hot dishes before we were allowed to dig in. Well, not that funny when you're drooling and your stomach is growling. But all of us complied, for the sake of art of course.

Performances were nice. My favourite was the final year seniors' item -- dancing and singing! Was hilarious!! :P Watching them free-style dancing to
I Like to Move It from Madagascar was definitely the funniest thing I'd seen in a while. teehee

And the photo-taking! OMG.
There were sooo many cameras and flashes were just going off everywhere! We had no idea which camera to face! Even till the end of it all, we hadn't come up with an efficient enough system of taking photos without yelling,

"Hey, which one now?"
"Look where
Aiyo, not ready not ready!!"
"Oh, no! I think I blinked!!"

When it was over, I had stars in my eyes for a pretty good amount of time.

My feet were killing me! The price we girls have to pay for wearing high heels. Seriously, if I weren't so er, vertically-challenged, I'd never
ever wear heels. I'd consider them a torture tool.

Even with heels, I looked er, vertically-challenged. Sigh.

Anyways, height blues aside, it was a great night!

Just wanna wish all my outgoing seniors all the best in life! Thanks for all your support! Artisukma Choir UKM wouldn't be what it is now without you! I'm definitely going to miss you guys....*sniff sniff*

Muakz muakz!!

Can't wait for next year!!

Hmm, what should I wear? XD
p.s: Someone requested I post the pictures of my 2 dresses. haha Okay then, let me know whether I made the right decision!

Saturday, February 21, 2009



Not French-kissing. Not even a French hottie.

I meant a French manicure:

Courtesy of Ms. Christina Ann Sebastian :)

Don't they look awesome??!! XD

Next :P

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Male Chauvinists ALERT!!!

Masalah: Suami curang

Punca Masalah:

:: Isteri tidak tahu mengendalikan rumahtangga
(tidak tahu membasuh baju, tidak pandai memasak etc.)
:: Isteri tidak tahu mengambil hati suami
:: Isteri tidak mengikut kehendak suami
:: Isteri suka marah tanpa sebab
:: Si Suami tidak mengawal nafsu
:: Godaan daripada pihak ketiga

Alternatif Penyelesaian Masalah:

:: Isteri perlu menjaga rumah dengan baik
:: Isteri mesti tahu menjaga hati suami

and other similar suggestions, to that effect.

I don't know about you, but as a FEMALE, I was extremely offended by this presentation by one of the groups in my Decision-Making class.

All 5 of them -- males. No surprise there.

Is it just me, or, according to them, 4 out of the 6 main reasons they came up with for philandering, cheating husbands, is because of the WIFE??

Are you telling me, that when husbands cheat on their wives, their reason is, "My wife nags too much," or "You don't understand! My wife just can't cook!!!" or even "She put my whites and colours in the wash together. I mean, how can you blame me for finding someone else?"


Stop blaming the WIFE and look at the HUSBAND for goodness sake. Who are the ones in the wrong here?

What is his excuse? What are the alternatif that he should take?

The husbands are cheating on their wives, and they blame it on the fact that the wife does not know how to properly mengambil his hati?


There is no denying that there are some brainless, useless morons who actually do cheat on their wives for such idiotic reasons such as those mentioned above.

But those are petty reasons! Not substantial enough! Those are not core issues!

If it were me, I would put reasons such as:

:: marital problems
:: lack of communication between husband and wife
:: husband is a complete IDIOT

Now, those are the real and important issues.


There are women who are the best wives, the perfect example of isteri mithali, who do all they can, the best they can. Women who (by their reasoning), can cook, and do the laundry properly, and please their husbands, and not nag. And yet, their husbands (for who knows what excuse) still cheat on them, not satisfied.

Is it still the wife's fault? What's the reason now? She did not wear his favourite colour? Her hair was in a mess when she met him at the door? Sheesh.

You know what was most disappointing for me?

To think that this kind of sexist, male chauvinistic reasoning, this kind of narrow-minded, shallow, despicable and biased mindset, can come from educated university students.

And the worst part is, I don't think they have even the slightest idea that what they have just presented to the class, could be offensive, or that it might be wrong.

We were given a task to research on, and explore an issue, and this is what they come up with?

Reflects the kind of thinking they have.

I am deeply shocked.

Un. Be. Lievable.


Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The Humans Are Dead

Watch this video by the Flight of the Conchords.


If you don't, well.

Lick my battery. XD

Monday, February 16, 2009


Oh oh oh, oh oh oh...
Oh oh oh...

[Verse 1]

She's starin' at me,
I'm sittin', wonderin' what she's thinkin'.
Nobody's talkin',
'Cause talkin' just turns into screamin'.
And now as I'm yellin' over her,
She's yellin' over me.
All that that means
Is neither of us is listening,
(And what's even worse).
That we don't even remember why were fighting.

So both of us are mad for...

(Fighting for).
(Crying for).
But we won't let it go for
(No not for)
This should be nothin' to a love like what we got.
Ohhh, baby...

I know sometimes
It's gonna rain...
But baby, can we make up now
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
(Cant sleep through the pain).


Girl, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me).
No, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me)
Ohhh no no no...

[Verse 2]

And it gets me upset, girl
When you're constantly accusing.
(Askin' questions like you already know).
We're fighting this war, baby
When both of us are losing.
(This ain't the way that love is supposed to go).

[What happened to workin' it out].
We've fallen into this place
Where you ain't backin' down
And I ain't backin' down.

So what the hell do we do now...
It's all for...

(Fighting for).
(Crying for).
But we won't let it go for
(No not for)
This should be nothin' to a love like what we got.
Ohhh, baby...

I know sometimes
It's gonna rain...
But baby, can we make up now
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
(Cant sleep through the pain).


Girl, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me).
No, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me)
Ohhh no no no...


Oh baby this love ain't gonna be perfect,
(Perfect, perfect, oh oh).
And just how good it's gonna be.
We can't fuss and we can't fight
Long as everything alright between us
Before we go to sleep.

Baby, we're gonna be happy.

I know sometimes
It's gonna rain...
But baby, can we make up now
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
(Cant sleep through the pain).


Girl, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me).
No, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me)
Ohhh no no no...

I love this song. It talks about how no relationship is perfect. I especially like the part where he talks about how they yell and fight - the imperfections that are not usually mentioned. But, he says that their relationship is worth fighting for. How he wants to work things out before they sleep.

I like it.

It plays in my head all day long. :)

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Without Sight

A young girl was born blind. And she hated herself for it.
She hated the fact that she couldn't see what colours there were out in the world, but only heard of it.
She hated the fact that she needed to depend on others for everything.
She hated the fact that other people treated her differently; they either pitied her, or shied away from her.

The only person who treated her kindly was her boyfriend.
He guided her everywhere she went.
He described to her the colours and beauty and nature that existed in the world that she could only imagine and not see.
He taught her to walk without fear, but with confidence.
He taught her not to give up, but to keep going.
That people like her deserved as much to be loved; that unselfish love such as theirs truly existed.

Her boyfriend asked her one day, "Will you marry me?"
She was silent.
Then she replied, "I will only marry you after I see the world. I can't otherwise. I'm sorry."
Her boyfriend smiled at her like he always did, and she didn't feel so guilty about turning him down.

Then a blessing arrived at her doorstep.
She was going to receive a pair of eyes from an anonymous donor!
Finally she will be able to see!
Her boyfriend held her hand as she was wheeled into the operation room.
"I love you, " he told her.
She nodded, too excited to respond.

Everything went smoothly, the operation was successful.
Her boyfriend was by her side, once again guiding her as she made her way to full recovery.
And when the bandages over her eyes were removed, she was overwhelmed by the sight that met her eyes.

Out in a park, she could finally see blues, and greens, and reds, as vibrant as if it were freshly painted with the expert hand of a professional artist.
The world was beautiful. Even more beautiful than what her boyfriend had described.

She turned to her boyfriend, a wide smile on her face.
And her smile stood frozen.

Her boyfriend's eyes were covered with heavy, thick bandages.
His face seemed drawn with deep lines, but his lips were turned up, a small smile.
She was speechless.
Her boyfriend -- who had told her of the young buds of flowers blooming in spring, the rich brown of leaves falling in autumn, the blinding white of snow in winter, the golden sun of summer -- is blind?
How could this be? How is this possible?

He groped for her hand, his smile widening.
"Now that you have seen the world, will you marry me?"
She was dumbstruck.
She found herself hesitating.

He is blind.
How will our life together be like?
He'll have no choice but to depend on me for everything.
There will have to be many sacrifices. By me.

She looked down to the ground.
Despite knowing that her boyfriend could not see her face, she still did not dare look him in the eye.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I can't."
She dropped his hand.

A smile still on his face, he nodded.
He put a hand up to her face, touched her cheek, pushed her hair back from her face.

She was selfish, she knew. But she couldn't do what he had always done for her.
She just couldn't.

He kissed the palm of her hand, turned around and left without another word.

He disappeared. She could not find him.
He was gone.

A week later, she received a letter addressed to her from him.
Tearing the letter free, she read,

"Take good care of those eyes of yours, my darling. For before they were yours, they were once mine.
I love you."

Her hand trembled and the letter fell from her hand.

p.s: Adapted from a forwarded email

© LISA KWAN 2011 ; All rights reserved.

Music To My Heart

We waited in anticipation.
The nerves were starting to kick in.
My heart was pounding. My hands were trembling.
Despite the darkness, I had a strange feeling that everyone could see me, shivering like a leaf.

I waited.
Then came our cue.
This is it. It's time.
I ran out onto the stage, wondering how I had gotten my feet to work when my mind couldn't.

My flowing skirt swished about me noiselessly, making my not-so-graceful movements, look more graceful.
My hands tapped the tambourine in time to the music.

I didn't think.
Couldn't think.
Almost paralyzed with fear, I remembered, with a sudden realization, that this wasn't about me.
It never was.
It was about the story of hope, in God's love.
And my role is to do my part to the best of my ability, and trust that God will use us -- our dancing, our acting, our singing -- to touch the hearts of all those people out there. Right now.

Looking out into the crowd, I couldn't help but smile now.
A big smile. :)
No fear.

Last Thursday night, was truly a night to remember.

A night of songs and music, of dance, of mime, of drama.
A night of giving your all, of love, and of hope.

After weeks of practice, after weeks of stressing out and getting hit by flag poles (on the head, and toe), it was finally here:


Everything went perfectly.

The band was awesome (playing songs written by one of our own :P), the candles didn't go off, the mime was entrancing, the drama was great, everyone remembered their steps, and I didn't drop my flag during the closing song (which is an achievement!)!! :)

It ended on such a high note. The band totally rocked it out with
My Redeemer Lives at the end.
I was jumping about till I was out of breath.

And it felt absolutely, completely and utterly

God was truly with us that night.

Can't wait for next year :P

Tata and I (in my angel costume!)

May Lee and I - look like sisters? XD

Direct senior & direct junior

In the cafe after :)

Thursday, February 5, 2009

The Wedding

It is a dark and stormy night.

Okay, it wasn't stormy, but it was certainly dark. Pitch dark.
Our story begins in a deep mysterious forest...

Rissa and Chua are wandering around in the woods, hopelessly lost. It is so dark they can't even see each other. Rissa feels cold and damp, and she can't stop shivering.
Chua is leading the way, but he doesn't seem to know where he is heading.

"Rissa, hurry up! It's getting darker by the minute!" Chua urges Rissa.
"Chua...Where are we? Are we lost? I'm scared..." Rissa whines.
"Well, hurry up then," Chua walks ahead.

There's a movement in the bushes behind her, and Rissa lets out a small scream. Her heart is pounding in her chest, and she can hear it in her ears, louder than any drum. She whirls around.
"What was that sound? What was that??", she backs away, trembling.
A long, eery howl is heard in the distance. But strangely, it seems to be coming closer, whatever it is.

"Chua...I'm scared..." Rissa looks around for Chua.
He has disappeared; no where to be seen.

"Chua? Chua? Where are you? This isn't funny...Please...This isn't funny at all..." she begins to sob, overwhelming fear engulfing her, trapping her. And she felt helpless. So alone.

She hears more movements...and more howls. Animal-like and sinister. And they were coming her way.
The hair on the back of her neck stands. Her trembling grows even more violent. What were they?
Instinct told her to run and hide. She searched around frantically for a hiding place, somewhere where she can stay out of sight.

A fallen tree trunk!

The howls grew louder and louder. She looked at the tree trunk.
It'll have to do. I don't have a choice!

She dove behind the trunk just as creatures flew in and pranced around into the open clearing, yelling and howling in jest and excitement.
Rissa clamps her mouth with her hand so as not to make a sound.

The ghosts and devils prance around as if in celebration. One of them moves to the middle and, in a booming voice, speaks.
"Greetings my fellow fiends! Tonight is a night to remember! Tonight is the day our King Count Dracula has chosen his Queen -- Pontianak!" he is almost drowned by the cheers and shrill calls of the others. "Tonight -- we celebrate!!" the cheers grow to deafening levels.

Count Dracula emerges and leads his bride to the center of the evil ring. They both have matching red eyes and thick blood trailing from their red, red lips. It seems he wants to do something...he wants to perform a song for his bride!
And he does.
A Hindi song.
The rest dance and float around and do the Macarena in time to the beat of the music. They hold hands and form smaller circles within the big circle, laughing maniacally.
Count Dracula only has eyes for his dear Pontianak and her eyes are locked on his, never blinking.
Hantu Galah steps in and leads Pontianak away from Count Dracula. Count Dracula's eyes blaze a brighter red, flaming. He moves closer to Hantu Galah and Hantu Galah retreats to a corner, still eyeing Pontianak.

When the song ends, the ceremony finally begins.
Rich organ music fills the still night air and the moon light shines directly on the King and Queen, making their pale bloodless faces look even paler.

Turns out Hantu Galah is the minister -- of sorts.
He pronounces them husband and wife, while Count Dracula stares at him threateningly, and the crowd of ghosts erupt in applause.
Finally, the feast can begin! Bring out the goblets of rich BLOOD!!!

"SSSTOP!!!" a hissing voice cuts through the cheers.
Bunian sniffs the air, his nose sticking out, searching.
"I sssmell sssssomething elssse that isss better than anything ssserved here tonight..."
The crowd grows restless. Curious. Hungry.

"A human!"
"A human amongst us!"
"Fresh human meat..."

Rissa is suddenly aware that the air has grown tense with the hunger of hundreds of starving ghosts thirsting for blood. Her blood. And her flesh.
She backs away and steps on a twig. And in that tense silence, it was as loud as if she had yelled at the top of her lungs, giving her position away.

Every single one of their dark, beady and some empty hole, eyes stared straight at her.

"M-mm-me? I'm not a human. I-I-I'm a ghost too," she stammered and gave a, hopefully, convincingly scary smile.
She gulped visibly.


They slowly closed in on her. She could feel their sharp nails reaching for her, their damp freezing cold fingers on her arms, shoulders and legs. She screamed.

She yelled for help, but she knew that help was impossible.
Then, she caught a moving figure outside of the circle of demons surrounding her.
She blinked. Could it be?


"Chua!! CHUA!! Help me!!"
Suddenly energized, Rissa tore away from the evil beings and grabbed Chua's arm.

"Let's get out of here! Run!! Come o-"

She was roughly pulled back. She turned to look at Chua, his face strangely pale. He looked almost....Oh.

"Rissa," Chua's hold on her tightened, "I am one of them." Rissa whimpers, lower lip trembling, eyes wide open in shock. She shook her head, refusing to believe what he was saying.

"Now I want you to join us too," and with one swift motion, Chua flung Rissa right into the middle of the clambering crowd of demons and ghosts, hissing and snarling and cackling with glee.

Her screams pierced the night air, sharp like a knife.

Then, there is nothing but silence.

p.s: This is actually the story-version of the sketch that we performed yesterday night during FESSAT (Festival Sanjungan Satria - college activity, don't ask). Our sketch won 1st place by the way, and I played Rissa. :)