I wanna be The Sorcerer's Apprentice

Have you seen this poster?

Doesn't it look just too cool?

OMG, this is way better than Harry Potter. You wanna know why?

There's no "do-not-harm-Muggles" or "do-not-use-magic-outside-of-Hogwarts" rules.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is:

Revenge is sweet.

Especially when you've got a little magic to help you ! *evil cackle*

I mean, can you imagine if you were the Sorcerer's Apprentice?

To be a complete unknown, a nobody for one second, and then to be famous, revered, admired the next. *daydreams of walking down the steps amidst cheering and excited screams*

Well, okay, Nicolas Cage with wavy long hair will take some getting used to.

But, if he's gonna bestow me with all the knowledge I need to zap certain people to ashes, then hey, he's a stud. :D

Zapppppppp !!!!!

*evil laughter in background*

Why do I want to "zap people to ashes"? You ask me WHY?

I mean, I live in a residential college. In a hostel. I share bathrooms and toilets with 20 over girls. I wash my clothes by hand. And I have to hang my wash in my room for fear of other jealousy-ridden girls stealing my clothes. I survive on cafeteria food. I have no means of personal transport (read: car). When I'm stuck in god-forsaken Bangi, I'm stuck in god-forsaken Bangi.

If that does not justify my desire to zap people to ashes, I don't know what does. >.<

You have NO idea what it's like living in a hostel in a public local university.

:: I eat cabbage cooked with cili padi and I end up getting diarrhea for the next few hours.

:: I head to the washing basin in the bathroom to wash my clothes and discover that someone has left their oily curry-stained dishes and cutlery in the sink.

:: I want to take a shower and someone has hung their clothes on the door post of the only available bathroom stall.

:: I walk past the cafeteria and realize (too late) that my just-shampooed hair now has the fragrance of no, not yoghurt milk, but mee goreng. (Yes, I only need to walk past the cafeteria to gain such "delightful" aromas in my hair.)

Inconsiderate, selfish, brainless *censored*****

So, you see. There are several people I'd like to zap-to-ashes, as a consequence.

They should be glad I don't plan to torture them.

Plus, the cafe mak cik is pretty mean to me sometimes. She over-charges me when her mood is bad. And her mood is bad all the freakin' time !

What? I'm self-possessed?

What do you mean "What else will I do besides zapping people to ashes?"

What else is there to-

Oh.

Hm.

That does get you thinking eh?

Well.

I am rather vertically-challenged (read: short).

A wee bit more to the 5 feet mark. (Shhhh. Don't tell anyone.)

Don't get me wrong. I am totally cool with my current height. I accepted the fact that I've gone waayyyy past my growing spurt a long time ago.

There's just this little problem.

Well, 4-inch heels look so much better on a 5-foot-three than a wee-bit-more-to-5-feet-mark person.

And I do so wanna look good in 4-inch heels !

You understand my pain, don't you?

With magic I'll just give myself a couple of inches vertical boost, and I'll look totally awesome in those white gladiator heels I saw the other day at Vincci's........ *drools*

Ahem.

What is that? Why don't I do something to make the world a better place?

But, but but that's exactly what I plan to do !

Zap hopeless people to ashes and make myself taller !

Doesn't that sound like a better world already? :D

Well, it is for me :)

And since I'm gonna be the Sorcerer's Apprentice, I would advise you to watch your words with me, so be nice.

Or I just might zap you to ashes :P