Abandoned

I always thought of myself as a nobody. I don't mean much to anybody.

Every day, I stood and waited. Waited for what, I did not really know. All I did was wait.

I stood in the store, surrounded by people just like me. But I found no comfort.
I felt alone. And useless. What is my purpose in this world?

And then she came. She was small, and young. Very ordinary looking. She was nothing special either.
But she walked right up to me and held me - as if she had come just for me.
At her touch, I knew she was The One.

We had been together ever since.

I had never felt so needed, so cared for, so loved !
Her touch was what I craved for most. When she was not around, I agonized over the next time I would see her.
Somehow, I felt this innate need to protect her from harm. Even if it were just the mild heat from the evening sun, or a slight drizzle, I wanted, no, needed to protect her.

I felt wanted, I knew I was needed here. Gone were the days of loneliness and aimless waiting with despair.
I had finally found my purpose.

For one year we were together, rain or shine. And when she smiled, I thought of nothing else, but how I had made her happy.

And then the day I feared most finally came.

We had arrived at her lecture hall together. It had rained earlier and I was soaked. But I made sure that she was dry and safe. She had a performance practice to go to and had brought me along. How flattered I felt !

Oh, I stood at the back of the lecture hall, drying myself off, knowing that she would come for me later.
I watched her practise with her friends, her smile evident and her laughter contagious.
They were doing an awesome job and they worked hard practising for the event that evening.
I enjoyed myself just sitting at the back of the lecture hall, unnoticed, watching her.

Her rehearsal over, she walked up the steps to the entrance of the hall, chattering excitedly with her friends.
I swelled with a sense of pride. That's MY girl, I thought to myself.
I greeted her with a smile, ever ready to come to her side should she need me.

But she did not look my way.
Rather, she pushed open the entrance door and disappeared behind it, her laughter echoing.
As the door closed on my heart, I realized, with a start, that she had left me behind.
I was alone in the lecture hall, with just the hum of the air-conditioning faintly audible.

Fear gripped me, for she had never left me alone like this before.

Why did she leave me alone?
But, who was going to protect her from the rain, and the scorching sun?
That was what I was for - my purpose!
Had she forgotten me? Does she not want me anymore?

A sense of emptiness crept within me and took a hold on my heart.

Impossible as it may seem, a tear trickled down my body, right down to reach the stone-cold floor of the lecture hall.

How could you leave me?

© LISA KWAN 2011 ; All rights reserved.

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*This story is written in dedication to my dear umbrella. I left it in the lecture hall in KTAM unintentionally. By the time I realized and had gone back to look for it, it was no longer there.

I'm sorry my dear umbrella. Thank you for you faithful service to me. Even though you were worn as a result of the unforgiving weather, you did your level best in protecting me from sun and rain. Thank you.

I feel awfully sad about it. I had to walk back in the scorching mid-day heat today.
Sigh.

I miss my umbrella.