If only the Heart does what the Mind tells it to

I know what I am thinking is just plain silly.

I know that I should not be feeling this way.

But I've come to realize that the heart is one hell of a stubborn kid, ain't it? >.<

It just won't do what I know should be done !

So I suppress it. Ignore it.

I tell myself,

"Stop it, you idiot. Why make yourself suffer more?"

"Stop being such a petty freak !"

"You're acting like 4-year-old !"

What on Earth is the matter with me?

It's so tough.

It's so tough.

It's so tough.

It's so tough.

It's so tough.

It's so tough.

It's so tough.

Some days are good days. Some days are just, bad.

On the bad days, it's really hard.

On the good days, I worry about how long this will actually last.

Sometimes I just feel like I want to lock myself in my room.

Lock myself in my room, and then cry.

Just cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry. :(

But.

It is only temporary.

Sure as rain, the ache will return.

And I am back to square one.

What on Earth is the matter with me?