Tuesday, May 17, 2011

My Perfect Match

The first time I saw her, I fell head over heels in love with her.

Ah, her. She was absolutely perfect. I could just close my eyes and imagine........

She had the most romantic, shining eyes. They seemed to reflect the full moon that was shining so brightly on the night that I first met her. And her body. Whoa, did she have a hot one! Those slim and slender legs--they practically took my breath away! And when she walked past me, my eyes could not help but follow the curves along the lines of her back, all the way down to her a-- Ahem. Sorry. 

Oh, and she had the daintiest feet I had ever seen! They were small, and pretty, and reminded me of fairies and pixies. When she finally turned her head over her shoulder to look back at me, her eyes completely captivated me. I was mesmerized. And then I heard the most beautiful sound in the world--the smallest purr, that stopped my heart. It sounded oh-so-inviting. As if she were telling me that I actually, had a shot at this.

Did I?

But you know what was the best thing about her? She had the most beautiful, beautiful stripes all over her body. I always thought they matched mine, streak for streak. Didn't that prove how perfect we are for each other?

Now, if only I could convince her of the same.

What could I do to prove to her of my love?

Maybe I could follow her around tomorrow, and rub my body up against hers to let her know I'm interested in more than being just friends. And maybe, if I could, I'll find her a scrumptious morsel to treat her. A big fat rat, possibly, if I can catch one in the dumpster at the back row of houses. That would be really impressive, wouldn't it? And also, maybe I could----

Whirrrrrrrr. Rattle. Bump. SLAM!!

What the--

What's happening?

How DARE you disturb my daydream??!!!

You're gonna pay for that, human. Just you wait. 

Just. You. Wait.

p.s: This cat that (I think) was napping under my mum's car gave me this murderous look when we got into it. I imagine it was daydreaming about its ladyfriend. And I disrupted it. Oops.

p.p.s: It totally hissed at me too! Chillax, brah! I said I was sorry. @.@


Since a reader mentioned that this innocent post somehow, inexplicably, reminded him of the whole cats-mating ritual, I thought I'd share a National Geographic video here that my friend had shared on her FB profile. 

Watch and be horrified. You'll understand what the female cats are actually saying in their yowling the next time you hear them "doing it" behind your house @.@


k0k s3n w4i said...

i'm reminded by how much cat mating behaviour resemble rape - all that chasing, fighting, and then biting and holding down the female. i read that cats' penises have backward pointing barbs or spines in them which causes the female pain.

SandraC said...

ahahaha..super funny!

Liz said...

>>k0k s3n w4i

You are right ! I was recently enlightened on that fact as well by my friend here, SandraC ! Here's a link that she shared on her FB profile: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UVw7cgv36A&feature=share

I'll share the link in my post as well, since it reminded you of that xD


What a coincidence that you posted something about cats mating on your FB xD (Well, my post isn't about cats mating, but about cats, but still something of a coincidence eh? :P)

Timothy K. said...

hahah hahha hahha XD

Ðârren said...

love the story =) almost as much i as i love the picture of that cat!! =D i love cats... thanks for posting this up